Syrup Page #3

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Exactly, it'd be like drinking irony.

No, we're not ready yet.

Did you have any thoughts on taste?

Well, no.

People don't buy energy drinks

based on taste, do they?

No, I was just wondering.

Well, then...

something eye-wateringly sharp

with a kind of chemical aftertaste,

so you think, "This must be powerful!"

[bangs table]

Good. Good.

- Where are you going?

- I'm leaving.

What about lunch?

Mm-hmm.

May I say you're very young to be

managing your own department?

I'm 21.

No, seriously...

- I'll give you 25-- okay, 24.

- [sighs]

Mr. Scat, I am 21.

Now deal with it.

Okay, marketer to marketer,

- you're not 21, and...

- What?

...you're not gay.

I graduated from

high school when I was 15,

courtesy of an

advanced-learning program.

I did four years at UCLA,

an MBA at Stanford,

and now after three months

at Addison, I am 21 years old.

I lie about going to Stanford too.

Perhaps you should

see someone about that.

Look, Fukk's mediocre,

it's not great.

I was thinking, what if the can

has a ton of compressed air in it

so that when you pop one,

everyone around hears it?

No, we had a bad experience

with aeration in Massachusetts.

300 people called to complain

about excessive gassiness.

And besides, there was

that exploding-can fatality.

Have I had you sign

a non-disclosure form?

- No.

- I'm going to need you to do that.

I'll come into your office tomorrow.

Actually I don't need you to come in

until we present to the board,

and they don't convene until next week.

- I'll courier you the form.

- Mediocre, huh?

Look, I work for a company

that could buy

a continent if they wanted to.

I have people that fix ideas.

Addiland? Hmm.

The point is just sit tight.

I'm going to have my team

work through the night to make it great.

I'm assembling them now.

Okay.

- Okay.

- Could you not use that word?

"Okay"?

Look, "Addy" is the second most

well-known word in the world.

We're shooting for number one.

- You get me?

- I get you.

- Why Six?

- What?

Why did you pick Six?

Why not, you know, Five?

I didn't pick it.

It is my real name.

Nobody's parents give them

an unusually cool name.

There are only

parent-given regular names

and parent-given

embarrassing names.

I went to school with a kid named Petal,

for Christ's sake.

I hate to wreck your theory,

but I was named Six by my parents.

Although not at first.

When I was born,

I was christened "Zero,"

when I turned one,

I was renamed to "One."

It was actually quite touching,

having my name as well as my age

on my birthday cake

in frosty blue icing.

Even if I believed you can

remember your first birthday,

which I don't,

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