Swiss Army Man Page #6

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but you can't do that yet.

That's too fast.

Oh. Uh...

How 'bout if I put my penis in you?

- That's even worse.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

What about if I just did the tip,

like, just the very beginning...

Okay, Manny, it's not about sex.

Okay? It's...

Okay.

Okay.

Welcome to the bus.

This is how people like us get places

if we're too poor to drive ourselves.

Oh, yeah.

There are other people.

Yeah.

Hello. Hello, everybody.

Buses are for people

who don't know each other.

They read books. They listen to music.

- And we all sing songs together, right?

- No!

No, no, no, the other people

will stare at you if you sing,

so you listen to your own music.

- Oh.

- Here.

If it hadn't been

For Cotton Eye Joe

I'd be married

A long time ago...

As you listen...

stare out the window.

Oh. And I watch the world go by.

Wasn't for Cotton Eye

Cotton Eye Joe...

So this is it.

This is the life I've forgotten.

Oh, when I get back home,

I am gonna ride the bus every day.

Manny, this is just the beginning.

Every day, you ride the bus

and count the minutes,

hoping you'll see her again.

Oh, my God.

She smiles,

and you feel a strange tingle

up the back of your neck.

Something carnal inside of you

causes your body to break out in sweats.

You feel like the luckiest man

in the world.

She sits alone, just like every other day,

and looks out the window

lost in her thoughts.

You know that look.

She's just as alone as you are.

But she doesn't have to be.

You could talk to her.

Tell her you'd love to sit next to her

today and every other day,

because life is short, and no one deserves

to ride the bus alone.

I want this to stop.

- It's not working?

- No.

She's too beautiful.

I can't talk to her now.

What if I say something stupid?

I'll just wanna die.

She's right there.

You're not gonna do anything?

What would you do?

I would...

I would probably wait,

and watch her get off the bus

and go home and eat

a whole box of pizza by myself.

Manny, I should tell you the truth.

I'm not really good at this stuff.

Oh, right. Nobody loves you.

Try these on.

My eyeballs can't see as well.

But you look mysterious,

and girls like mysterious.

- You feel cool, right?

- I guess.

- You look cool.

- Oh! What are you doing?

All you have to do is talk to her.

- I believe in you.

- Whoa!

Are you sitting alone?

- Yeah.

- So you're a freak.

What?

Now you're not.

So what are you listening to?

It's a song I wrote for you.

- Hank?

- Hmm?

Pick up my hand.

Okay, now put it on her hand.

Okay. I wanna look at her.

My name is Manny.

My name is S...

Sarah.

- Sarah.

- That's her name?

- Sarah Johnson.

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