Super Troopers 2 Page #3

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trying to sell me hard d*cks.

I bet you bought

a baker's dozen. (LAUGHS)

Let's lay some caulk!

I got fresh caulk, everybody!

Hot caulk here.

Who wants caulk?

MAC:
He really wants to leave

right from work, huh?

RABBIT:
He said,

"Real men travel light."

(GRUNTING)

God, he looks ridiculous.

No, I think

he looks pretty cool.

Like the Brawny

Paper Towel Guy.

See, I was gonna say

the Bombay Paper Towel Guy.

- RABBIT:
Hey, Thorn.

- MAC:
Hey.

Job sucks.

It's all sap and splinters.

(MAC LAUGHS)

Now it smells like Bombay.

- You wanna put that shirt back on?

- Whew!

Breathe it in, little fella.

That's the smell

of a mountain man.

Right. Okay, what time you due

back at the hobo zoo?

- (LAUGHS)

- (SIREN CHIRPS)

Hey, hey!

What's up, guys?

Nice ride!

RABBIT:
Hey, Chief.

Son of a b*tch.

- Ta-da!

- MEN:
Hey!

What's up, Foster?

He is all yours.

I'm tired of him riding

in my sidecar anyway.

That's not what

you said last night.

OFFICER:
(ON RADIO)

Chief, we have a 214

out at

the Shuck n' Rack Motel.

Officer needs guidance.

- I'll be right there.

- OFFICER:
(ON RADIO) Copy.

(SIGHS) I wish you guys

didn't get fired.

We weren't fired.

We were invited to resign.

- Ah.

- Ooh, I like that.

No, you were fired. There was

that ride-along gone wrong.

Then you were fired.

We'll just have to agree

to disagree.

All right.

Well, you fellas have fun.

Just get him back

in one piece, all right?

With the rod. I'm gonna

need it next weekend.

Hello!

That's my girl.

All right, boys,

let's go fishing.

THORNY:
And the beauty is,

the black is so black

that it's really blue.

I mean,

it's really midnight blue.

Ah, just like

the old days, huh?

Driving around

the countryside,

listening to Thorny

talk about his dick.

- I miss the old days.

- RABBIT:
That's bullshit, man.

That Fred Savage thing

was not our fault.

Actors shouldn't

do ride-alongs.

Actors shouldn't even

try to play cops.

I mean, (SCOFFS)

they never get it right.

(LAUGHTER)

- Hey, there.

- How you doin'?

Good. You boys here

for business or pleasure?

- Just going fishing.

- Good timing.

You'll be up to yer tits

in the walleye.

I caught one last week.

Was seven kilograms.

Is that big?

Is that big? That's like nine

decimeters from tip to tail.

- You a jigger man?

- What did you call me?

Well, I like to use

the jigger rod

for when I'm catching

the walleye.

But of course

when you're doing that

you gotta run extra light.

Unless you're someone like

you there in the back.

- What are you, a bodybuilder?

- (CHUCKLES) No.

What do you bench?

Wait, don't tell me.

I don't want you

to embarrass me.

- But I would like two tickets to your gun show. (LAUGHS)

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