Suing the Devil Page #5

Okay? They're losers!

Mr. Luke O'Brien,

are you listening?

Satan, just want to say

that I'm a huge fan,

I adore you, I worship you!

- I love Kiss.

- What?

Kiss! Kiss!

I hate Kiss.

I'm a Tom Jones man.

It's being built as trial of the century,

being seen by audiences around the world.

Welcome everyone to

"You Decide The verdict".

I'm Barry Polk.

Joining me today are...

Tony "The Hip" Anzaldo,

and Jasmine Williams,

welcome both.

Tony, why don't we

start with you?

Do you think that this guy Luke O'Brien

has any chance against Satan?

No.

Well said.

Jasmine?

I think the world is pulling

for Luke O'Brien,

and we all hope

that he prevails.

I don't.

Let's go to Mark Engstrom,

who's observing this all the way from...

Tony, you'll like this.

London, England.

Mark?

Barry, everyone in the UK.

Is fascinated by this case.

And the big question on everyone's

mind is whether this really is Satan.

Mark, excuse me a moment,

we're going to go right back now,

as the trial is just

getting back underway.

All rise!

You may be seated.

Court is now in session.

Are you sure you want to

go through with this?

- No.

- This jury was selected by a random...

Yes.

Okay.

Since neither party

chose to settle,

we will go to trial.

And I want a speedy trial,

understood?

You've already turned our court

into a media circus.

Plaintiff, your opening statement.

- Plaintiff!

- Yes, your honor.

Ladies and gentlemen

of the jury,

I feel a little inadequate,

after all...

I am suing the devil himself.

However,

it's very important that you remember

the whole world is at stake here.

And that being over there is the

cause of all the world's suffering.

Your honor, objection!

My client isn't a being,

he's a fallen angel.

Right. Continue, Mr. O'Brien.

I will prove, with a

preponderance of evidence,

that he has caused all the

problems and pain of this world.

And the verdict should be

rendered against him,

for 8 trillion dollars.

Order!

Order!

Order!

Satan! Satan! Satan!

Order!

Order!

Okay, counsel, for the defense,

your opening statement.

The audacity,

the sheer audacity...

to make you poor people

leave your jobs

for this hair brain lawsuit,

- it's unbelievable!

- Objection!

Sustained. Counsel, please

refrain from personal attacks.

I'm sorry, your honor.

Assuming, for argument's sake,

that my client in fact is Satan,

we will prove that this man

is no way responsible

for this man's problems

in society.

And it's a disturbing and

reprehensible thing

for him to sue my client

who's done him no wrong.

I'm done, let the trial begin!

Plaintiff, your first witness.

Pastor Matthews,

- Is Satan real?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes