Suburban Gothic Page #6

a creepy dead girl's,

like, carcass with a nightie.

- Are you f***ing kidding me now?

- No! Look...

you found a dead girl

buried in my dad's backyard?

I hate to break it to you,

all right?

There is an evil spirit

lurking on your property,

and I don't want to f***ing

be here when it shows up,

so I'm out all right?

Sh*t that makes sense.

Honestly, all day something's

been feeling a little bit off.

I thought I just had a hangover.

No, dude. Wake the f*** up!

I only came here

to f***ing raid your fridge,

get my Fanny pack,

and warn you, that's it.

Thank you, man.

I really appreciate it.

Good luck.

Sit down.

Right here.

Now...

Here we go.

All right. -

Let's do this thing.

Good.

Since when do you make

house calls?

Since they gave me

the opportunity

to charge you more money.

Fair enough.

So, is your dad here?

Um, he actually died today.

Good news.

I'm just kidding. He's at work.

Bad news, 'cause he's a dick.

Your father is a scoundrel.

He is a cheater.

And he owes me a lot of money.

My brother, you are preaching

to the choir on that one.

Um... My thing is, I kind of stay

out of other people's business,

so maybe, if you could just give

me my prescription, we could...

you know what?

You don't need

your prescription anymore.

You're perfectly healthy.

Your condition

has corrected itself.

All right let me, uh...

let me just get this straight

for the record.

So, You're... You're saying that

the blood-pressure condition

I've had for the last 15 years,

and been on medication for, has

just magically corrected itself?

Basically, yes.

If You're trying

to get back at my dad

by killing me, I-I don't think

it's gonna work.

The guy... the guy

really hates me.

Raymond,

I have been your physician

since you were born.

I circumcised you.

There's no sort of game

being played here.

You've simply outgrown

your condition.

Simple as that.

Happens all the time.

I got to get the f***

out of this town.

Well, at least aerobics class

will help take my mind

off Hector's disappearance.

Oh, come to think of it honey,

your old friend David's mom

will be there tonight.

Mom, what are you talking about?

Well, once a week,

several of us get together

for a group workout.

No, I mean, are -

are you talking

about Dave Richards?

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm not friends with that guy.

He's a total scumbag.

Oh, honey, shush.

His mother says he's working

for the school district now.

I think teaching

is such a noble profession.

Teaching is

a noble profession, mom.

But did his mom

tell you also about how...

and I don't like using

this language in front of you,

but he fingered a girl

who was a sleep

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