Suburban Gothic

Yeah!

Um, can I call you Ticona?

Is it all right if I call you

by your first name?

No.

Okay.

I came here

because I need a job.

So if you could just type

my info into your computer,

help a brother out

find me a job.

Something in upper management

Would be great.

I'll take anything.

I am literally on the verge

of having to move back in

with my parents,

and I don't want to do that.

Raymond, I got nothing for you.

Moving back in with your parents

right now

doesn't sound

like such a bad idea.

It does. It really does

sound like a bad idea to me.

I don't know how to say this

without sounding terrible,

but you're the worst

guidance counselor ever.

I-I got to go. I got to go.

Thank you for everything.

Lose the scarf.

Freak.

Yoohoo!

I made you a little something to

keep your strength up, Hector.

- Oh, my goodness.

- Alberto? Cookies?

- Uh, are those gluten-free?

- Uh, no.

All right now here's the rule.

- I just reseeded the lawn.

- Hi.

I planted some new flowers.

You stay away, you understand?

I won't even look at them, dad.

How does that sound?

- All right.

- Does that work?

Look, and I'm sorry

for being so hard on you

on the phone the other day.

Hey, you have a thing

for black women...

she was Latino.

You have a thing for latina

black women, I'm okay with that.

Great.

Your mother and I are

very open-minded.

I've noticed.

Good, huh?

- Evey, Raymond's home!

- Oh! Oh!

I think he's here! He's here!

Oh, he's here!

Thanks for taking care

of my boy.

- I don't know him.

- He's here!

Mom!

My beautiful son.

My beautiful mom.

Oh, honey.

Turn around, let me look at you.

Oh, wait.

Mom, are you serious?

- Stop.

- All right.

- Oh, so handsome.

- So beautiful.

There is away you can help

your mother and me

- while You're here.

- How?

All those years of education

I paid for,

did you ever learn

how to speak any Mexican?

You know, sadly, dad, I don't

know how to speak Mexican,

because nobody in the world

speaks Mexican.

Mexican people speak Spanish.

Mexicans speak Mexican.

People from Spain speak Spanish.

- Come on in, Raymond.

- What are you doing

with that flag around your neck?

Uh, celebrating my freedom.

Good to see you.

Oh, you too. I'm so happy.

Well, you don't wear

the American flag on your neck.

Okay?

- Holy sh*t!

- F***!

You scared the f***ing

sh*t out of me.

What are you doing

in my bathroom, man?

Oh, sorry.

I just uh... noth... I just...

I was just checking out

your picture, man.

Yeah.

It's a little chubby guy.

Remember him?

Yeah, he developed

an eating disorder.

- Oh.

- Thanks for bringing it up.

- Well, you look good.

- Thank you.

I wanted to use

the porta-potty outside...

- Mm-hmm.

- ...But uh, your father

keeps forgetting

the seat covers, you know?

He's an a**hole.

- You said it. I didn't.

- I know.

- Yeah? Okay?

- All right.

Have a good one.

All right. You too.

Standing two steps down

I fell into the hole

in the ground

You can make the plan

When the tape's rewound

By the time

you call the boys...

So, Raymond, I'm going

into town tomorrow.

Would you like to join me?

I'm good.

Oh, honey,

of course You're good.

You're my little angel.

But... Your father and I

were wondering

if we could buy you a couple

new outfits for your stay.

Something just

a little less alternative.

Yes.

We really care about you, son,

and we recognize your more

European approach to fashion...

But we just don't think it's

appropriate here in America.

In the U.S. of a.

Well, dad,

I appreciate your concern,

and your criticism of everything

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