Stranger Than Fiction Page #6

I mean, I once gave an entire seminar

on "little did he know."

Son of a b*tch, Harold.

"Little did he know" means there's

something he doesn't know...

...that means there's something

you don't know. Did you know that?

- I want you to come back Friday.

- Okay.

No, "imminent,"

you could be dead by Friday.

Come back tomorrow at 9:45.

Ten seconds ago

you said you wouldn't help me.

It's been a very revealing 10 seconds,

Harold.

Harold was deep in thought.

For a few, brief moments, from

Born Boulevard to Euclid Avenue...

... all the calculations

and all the rules...

... and all the precision of Harold's life

just faded away.

How perfect then

that in this space...

... Ana Pascal would appear.

Ms. Pascal.

Ms. Pascal, it's Harold Crick

from the IRS.

Excuse me.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Would you like a seat?

- Nope.

There's 11 open ones.

I don't care.

Sorry about that.

How are you?

I'm lousy. I'm being audited.

Of course.

By a real creep too.

I think I owe you an apology.

- Really?

- IRS agents...

...we're given rigorous aptitude tests

before we can work.

Unfortunately for you, we aren't tested

on tact or good manners...

...so I apologize.

I ogled you.

Sorry.

Okay, apology accepted.

But only because you stammered.

So you're a frequenter of the

metropolitan transit authority too?

No. I'm just late.

Big flag-burning to get to?

Actually...

...it's my weekly evil-conspiracy

and needlepoint group.

You wanna come?

I left my thimbles and socialist

reading material at home.

So... .

Harold nervously made small talk.

You have very straight teeth.

Very small talk.

Thanks. They're real.

Harold quickly calculated the odds

of making an ass of himself...

... in ratio to the amount of time

he stayed to chat.

This is my stop. I should go.

- He was elated and surprised...

- See you soon.

... by his somewhat flirtatious

encounter with Ms. Pascal.

So elated that he exited

the Transit Authority bus...

... a good 27 blocks too early

and would now have to walk.

- "You ain't down yet."

- That's right.

Tell us, what is You Ain't Got

Nothin' On Me about, Emmett Cole?

What does this mean?

Well, it's about being around

in the world, doing different things...

- ... doing what you wanna do... .

- Come in.

Mr. Crick. Come in, come in. Please.

How are you?

I'm fine, actually.

You can turn that off.

Looks like our narrator

hasn't killed you quite yet.

- No, not yet.

- Good, great. Have a seat.

- Count the stairs outside?

- No.

Course not. I've devised a test--

How exciting is that?

- Of 23 questions...

...which I think might help uncover

more truths about this narrator.

- Now, Howard... .

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