Steve Martin and Martin Short: An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life Page #3

---

photos of you I've ever seen.

Speaking of creepy...

Come on, we've all done it!

Please!

And here's my senior prom.

What a fun night that was.

Look how handsome you were.

- Look how pretty you were.

- Thank you.

I love this dashing picture

of you from your high school yearbook.

You know what's interesting

about this photo?

It's a color photo.

That's my point!

That's what I've been saying.

I love this dashing photo of you

from high school.

Well, now you're being cruel.

That was the year I was voted

Most Likely to Marry a Cousin.

It's even got your grade point average

up there.

I'll tell you what I love

about this photo.

It proves

that anyone can make it.

Ooh!

Tell us about this photo, Steve.

I call this picture...

"Hello, ladies."

"Goodbye, ladies."

This is an exclusive.

This is the first photo

of the new border wall.

That'll keep them out.

And this is what it would

look like if cocaine had a face.

Oh, I love this pic. This is

actually you in the actual Oval Office.

Yes, it was.

It was 1994, and you're probably wondering

what I'm doing.

I know what you're doing. Question is,

did Bill Clinton

take you up on your offer?

Now let's take a look at our last photo.

Look how happy you are.

You know,

this was June 28th 2009.

- Thank you, Rain Man.

- You're welcome.

But I remember why you were laughing

and smiling so hard.

- Why?

- I had just told you

that one day we'd be so desperate,

we'd be working together.

You know, Marty and I met on the film

- The Three Amigos.

- Yes.

The Three Amigos, a movie that has been

recently labeled a classic.

Downgraded from masterpiece.

Next stop, just OK.

And it was on that movie

that I first realized

that Marty had this kind of

quirky sense of humor.

We'd only been on the movie a couple of

weeks, so I knew him for two weeks.

And there's a lot of down time

on the movie, so Chevy, Marty, and I

would pass time by playingScrabble

in one of our trailers.

And so we're playing Scrabble.

I look over at Marty, whom I don't really

know, and he's writing a note.

He folds it over and slides it to me,

and it said,

"I will let you ball my wife Nancy

for an E or a Q."

I tend to be competitive.

The Three Amigos was so amazing for me,

you know, because it was my first movie.

And for a first movie,

I'm suddenly put on equal billing

to two massive movie stars.

Or... so they told me.

And...

I remember the opening nightof

The Three Amigos was like out of a movie.

It was insane. It was like, you know,

2,000 people lining Hollywood Boulevard

in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater.

And the studio had asked

the three of us to show up

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes