Star Leaf Page #4

Honey, if your wood was bulging like this,

I'd take you to a doctor.

Dude, what if these are all filled with

the sweetest f***ing resin you ever had?

We should tap these babies and get some

sweet-ass, star leaf syrup.

Woo!

Sip, sippin' on some sizzurp.

Help me up.

Sippin' on some sizzurp.

Sippin' on some sizzurp.

These branches look sharp enough to kill.

Yeah, I guess mother nature

don't take no prisoners, huh?

I mean, either that or she wanted

to keep this place a secret for a reason.

Ugh! Ugh!

Babe, that's not actually star leaf syrup.

Well, it's still gross.

- James!

- James!

James!

Oh, my god!

Welcome to the garden

of Weeden, motherf***er!

- Ta da!

- We found it! I told you!

I think I've seen bigger

plants than this in Afghanistan.

Dude, you see all these other plants?

F*** them. It's about this one, right here.

This is the queen bee,

the mother of all marijuana

plants on planet Earth.

They say she was seeded from outer space,

and sent to us by some

extraterrestrial intelligence,

to help us find our way back.

Wow, man. Back from what?

Well, f*** if I know! I

just came to smoke this sh*t!

Oh, my god!

Whoa, brother. Jesus, chill out, man.

What?

You're being an a**hole

to that plant right now.

You know what? You're right.

- Chill.

- Alright.

You're right. I'm being kind

of an a**hole to this plant.

I need to step aside for a minute,

center myself, come back,

snip some buds, and proceed

to get f***ing baked.

Awesome.

You don't think he's addicted, do you?

Him?

No, he's always been like that.

First guy in high school to

tap a keg, unsnap a bra...

Dude's a legend.

Well, speaking of legends,

I've heard a lot about you, James.

Yeah?

Yeah, I wasn't sure if

we'd hit it off at first.

But you know, so far so good.

Look, Tim's my bro.

Yeah.

I just wanted to thank

you for your services.

Okay.

Tim?

Alright, this is ready.

Who's ready to blast off?

Oh, me, me, me.

Oh, you know, before we

commence this ceremony,

we should say like a

little prayer, you know?

Kind of get into it.

Out loud, or what?

Whatever you feel comfortable with.

Roll, roll, roll the joint.

Twist it at the ends.

Take a puff and that's enough,

now pass it to your friends.

Man, what kind of eastern

bullshit you been studying?

Well, have you ever heard of Tantra?

No.

Cause he has, and it's divine.

It's an ancient Vedic

sexual ecstasy practice.

No big deal.

No big deal?

I'd say marathon love-making sessions,

ending in multiple female ejaculation,

is kind of a big deal.

Jesus, f***, calm down.

That's it.

I can't.

Dude, this leaves no trace in your system.

Okay.

Oh, my god.

Guys, I can't move.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes