Stan Helsing Page #2

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right up here.

Well, there's plenty of

room for that there.

In Stan's defense, there is a phenomenon

called an urban mirage.

Forget it, dude.

You do not have to defend me.

I'm just saying, people get stressed out

in urban settings. It happens.

I saw what I saw.

- Sh*t.

- What?

- Did another doll just moon you?

- No, we missed our exit.

- Why aren't you paying attention?

- Dude, that doll freaked me out!

It's all right. Just take the next exit.

I know how to get there

taking the back roads.

Ooh, I've heard that before.

All right, which way?

Uh, straight.

It would help if there were

some f***ing street signs.

Whoa!

Did you see that?

Yeah, I saw it.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Me too.

And I'm a vegetarian.

Uh, he's slowing down.

I think he's trying to box us in.

Teddy, she's right.

Go around him.

All right, hang on.

- Teddy, you gotta speed up.

- I'm flooring it!

- Whoa!

- What the hell is driving that truck?

Looks like a purse

I bought in Tijuana.

Oh, great, now he's speeding up.

- Almost.

- Oh my God. Oh my God.

- Teddy, drop back!

- I can't. It's too late. I gotta pass!

There's another semi coming!

- Are we dead?

- No. But we should be.

Teddy, that was awesome, man.

You should be a stunt-car driver.

I wanted to be a stuntman, but a little thing

called law school got in the way.

What do we do now?

We do nothing.

My motto is don't get involved.

I thought you said you knew how

to get us back on the highway.

Why don't we just knock on the door

of one of these houses out here?

Wrong answer.

Ever seen a little movie

called "The Hills Have Eyes"?

This whole place is crawling

with flesh-eating inbreds.

Okay, sister?

I say we just chill...

and enjoy the drive.

What are you doing?

Medicating myself, man.

That was a really stressful

situation back there.

I need to settle the nerves.

Okay.

Man, what are you doing?

Huh?

Okay.

Just make sure nobody

burns the upholstery.

Isn't it smoky in here?

I feel, like, really baked.

Mm-hmm.

What the hell was in that sh*t?

Special recipe.

It's a really cool Thai stick and

I dip it in liquid X,

and then I grind it

into the weed,

and then I roll it into the joint.

Man, you're like

the Rachael Ray of weed.

Rachael Ray!

- I feel numb all over.

- Yeah.

What are you doing?

I'm just working on some

acupressure points.

Whoa!

Sorry.

This van just went from an automatic

to a stick shift. Teddy got a boner.

- Do you have any more?

- You should try.

Whoa!

What the hell was that?

It looked like a baby bear.

- Where are you going?

- To see if it's all right.

Are you insane?

If that's a baby bear,

then there's a mama bear out there

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