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experience I'd have to say

"lez up" and rip each other's

throats out.

I worked with those girls.

Ahh, don't worry about it.

They were b*tches.

You got a phone?

No, it's gone AWOL.

Jesus, we're f***ed,

aren't we?

Maybe?

So, are you maintenance,

a pervert or both?

Maintenance.

Have have you got any tools?

You must have!

Come on, something we can

use to like, cut off their heads

or bash in their skulls!

[snarling]

Really good!

Yes.

Yeah!

Yeah, I've got

sh*t loads of stuff!

It's in my tool...

Ahh!

Don't!

No, no, no, no, no!

No, ahh!

What are you doing?

Learning a valuable lesson.

- What?

Nothing.

Where's this tool box?

[sighs]

Sink.

Oh, sh*t!

Is there anything in your stall

we can use?

Only if you wanna

wipe their arses

and give them a posh wank!

Maybe that's a cure.

Okay, well...

Hey, you go first!

You know what?

Oh, don't worry!

If you die in the process,

I'm gonna make sure

they erect a big statue

of you in the town hall.

You will be like...

jerking off a zombie

with one hand,

scooping out his

dirty crack with the other!

Ahh!

My hero.

[blows raspberry

and laughs]

Woah, woah, woah,

woah, woah!

What's going on?

Er, you've got another

five dead arses to wipe.

Sh*t!

So, what's your name?

What's your name?

Did you know Romero?

Oh.

[laughs]

Yeah, it's not really.

That would be ridiculous.

It's Smith.

Evie Smith.

So, were you having

a good time?

Woah, woah, woah.

No, no, no, no!

I was just trying to have a poo.

I wasn't doing anyth--

At the party, numb nuts!

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was, it was, um...

kicking.

- Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was partying with Jeff.

Jefferoni!

Jefferson Airplane!

Yeah, Geoff from accounts?

Jeff from I.T.

You're pals with Jeff from

I.T.?

He is, like, the hottest guy

in the building!

Yeah, people say we look alike.

So, um...

Wow!

- Yeah, yeah.

We're mistaken for brothers

all the time.

Actually, it's funny.

You don't sound...black!

No, err...

I'm more of a...

pale...

vanilla version of Jeff.

Jefferoni.

Jefferson Airplane.

[stammering]

And you're in

a wheelchair too?

What?

- [laughs]

I'm f***ing with you!

Hey, um, why don't you

jump up on your toilet

and give us a wave?

Oh, I can't.

I hurt my back

doing my party piece

for the auction.

Hey, you know the

Salt-n-Pepa routine

that snagged three grand for

the headless orphans

of Uganda?

Yep, that was me.

- Thank you!

[whispering]

Thank you!

[stammering]

No, I didn't see that.

I totally missed that one?

Don't worry.

I'll live.

Yeah, so what

do you look like?

What, er, me?

I'm like er, er,

a blonde Keira Knightley.

But with b*obs.

Heh, I've always said she could

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