South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Page #5

A TITLE reads 'Terrance and Phillip - Asses of Fire'

BOYS:

HOORAY!!!

On the screen, we come across PHILLIP, a very handsome

Canadian star with a great body.

PHILLIP:

Say Terrance, what did the Spanish Priest

say to the Uranian gynecologist?

PAN OVER to TERRANCE, who is also Canadian, and equally

handsome in a more rugged way.

TERRANCE:

I don't know, Phillip, what?

Phillip rips a big fart. Terrance and Phillip laugh merrily.

ANGLE - BOYS

Laughing their asses off.

KYLE:

That was sweet!

STAN:

Where do they come up with this stuff?!

CARTMAN:

How come Terrance and Phillip are so

weird looking?

KYLE:

Cuz, dummy they're Canadian, just like

Ike!

CARTMAN:

Oh.

IKE:

Poo bada!

ANGLE - SCREEN

TERRANCE:

You're such a pigfucker, Phillip!

PHILLIP:

What?! Why would you call me a

pigfucker?!

TERRANCE:

Well, let's see... First of all, you f***

pigs.

PHILLIP:

Oh yeah!

Terrance and Phillip laugh merrily.

ANGLE - BOYS

KYLE:

Woa, dude! Did they say what I think they

said?

ANGLE - SCREEN

Terrance pulls out a white envelope.

TERRANCE:

Well, f*** my ass and call me a b*tch, I

just got a letter!

PHILLIP:

A letter from who, you sh*t sucking cock

master?

TRACK IN on the boys' wide eyed faces as the dialogue from

the film enters their innocent ears.

TERRANCE:

It's from your mother.

PHILLIP:

My mother sent YOU a letter? What's it

say?

TERRANCE:

It says 'Dear Terrance, please don't ever

tell my son that I licked your hairy

balls.'

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