So Undercover Page #3

with goats

and dogs and sh*t.

But the idea is the same.

You leave an offering for the dead

and they won't come inside your house

and f*** with you.

What were they

yelling at us?

I don't know.

Your mom's right.

Your Cantonese is shitty as hell.

I think it was

an invitation.

An invitation?

Yeah.

Jesus Christ.

- Yul--

- I know. I know.

Five more minutes,

then we'll turn around.

Five minutes.

What do you expect,

Howard Stern?

Tower must be close by.

Yeah. Let me listen.

What's he saying?

I don't know. I can only make

out a couple words.

My Cantonese

is shitty, remember?

What is it?

What is he saying?

Old and new...

come together...

make offerings.

Protection...

blood...

sacrifice...

Oh my God.

What was that?

Huh, Yul?

I think it was a man.

A man?

Looked like an animal

or something.

It was a man--

a naked man.

Oh, no no no.

Come on, come on.

Come on, come on,

come on.

Just ease up on

the gas a little bit.

- Come on! F***!

- Just try the reverse thing.

Okay. Okay.

All right,

stop. Stop.

Let me try.

Let me try.

- Let's switch.

- Okay okay.

All right, baby, just go easy on it, okay?

Give it a little bit of gas.

Honey, I know what I'm doing.

I've lived in DC my entire life, okay?

Okay. Okay.

Sh*t.

Go! Sh*t!

- We're stuck.

- Don't say that. Don't say that, Mel.

- Come on.

- Get out and push.

- You have to.

- What?

- Get out and push right now.

- What about the naked dude?

Do you want me

to get out and push?

Huh? Fine, I'll get

out and push.

No! Don't get out!

Don't-- Mel-- don't--

Then get out. Just do it.

Don't think about it.

Just get out, Yul.

You're doing good.

Please, more more.

I don't have any more.

Push harder, Yul!

You did it!

Get in! Go!

Get in! Get in!

Hurry, Yul!

Just go.

Just go. Go!

Jesus. Jesus.

- Did you hear that? What was it?

- Yeah.

- What was that noise?

- It sounded like an animal.

- What?

- It sounded like a pig being slaughtered.

Yeah, okay. Right.

I mean, who the hell

slaughters a pig

in the middle

of the night, huh?

We're in China, Yul.

Yeah. Yeah.

I know we're in China, Mel.

But this isn't just--

this isn't just

China-weird, okay?

It's f***ing

just weird-weird.

Yeah, I know.

What, that's all

you're gonna say?

What do you

want me to say?

- Anything.

- Like what?

- Just something.

- Like what?

You got something to say,

just say it.

What do you want me

to f***ing say?!

I should be swimming with

the dolphins right now!

- What?

- But no, we're in f***ing China

because you wanted

to come here!

- Yes, I wanted to come here.

- This is all your f***ing fault!

- It's my fault?

- Yes, I hate you right now!

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