Snowglobe Page #3

WHAT'S WRONG

WITH GREEN LASAGNA?

IT'S TACKY.

IT'S FESTIVE!

I LOVE THOSE LITTLE

CHOCOLATE PUDDING CUPS.

I PUT MY VOTE IN RIGHT NOW.

I COULD EAT 1,000 OF THOSE!

NOT THAT KIND OF PUDDING.

OH! THIS KID'S GONNA BE

A KUNG FU ARTIS OR SOMETHING.

THOSE ARE THE MORENO LEGS.

LITTLE ANTONIO TWO

IS GONNA BE AN ATHLETE.

DADDY, I'M NOT NAMING

MY DAUGHTER "ANTONIO."

YOU DON'T KNOW

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A GIRL.

I HAD A SONOGRAM.

[scoffs]

I'LL SHOW YOU

HOW WE USED TO DO I BACK IN CUBA.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU LEFT CUBA:

WHEN YOU WERE TEN.

WHAT, I REMEMBER SOME THINGS.

LOOK, YOU LAY DOWN

ON THE FLOOR, SEE?

WE TAKE AN EGG.

WE PUT IT ON YOUR BELLY.

IF IT ROLLS OFF:

TO THE RIGHT--

DAD, WE ARE NOT BREAKING

ANY EGGS ON MY FLOOR.

SHE'S HAVING A GIRL.

LUCRETIA.

MM-MM.

NOT LUCRETIA.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NAME.

IT WAS YOUR GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S

NAME.

SHE COULD KEEP IT.

SHUT UP!

CAN WE GET BACK:

TO CHRISTMAS PLANS?

TOUCHDOWN!

HEY!

(Donnie)

YEAH!

HEY, NOW THAT IS WHA I'M TALKING ABOUT!

YES!

[men cheering]

(Donnie)

IT'S A REPLAY!

MOVE OVER!

MOVE OVER, DONNIE!

[sighs]

ARE WE DONE?

[cheering]

ANIMALS.

(Angela)

MA, DON'T.

IT'S STILL BROKEN.

YOU HAVEN'T FIXED

ANGIE'S DISPOSAL?

IT'S ON THE LIST.

OKAY, TELL ME YOU AT LEAS FIXED THE TOILE IN 304.

IT'S A LONG LIST.

HUH, SOME MANAGER.

THERE'S A NEW TENANT,

AND I THINK IT WOULD BE

REALLY NICE:

IF HE COULD FLUSH HIS TOILE MORE THAN TWICE A DAY.

[TV clicks off]

I RAN INTO THE NEW GUY.

OH, TELL ME.

YOU HAVE TO STOP.

STOP WHAT?

STOP WHAT?

STOP TRYING TO FIX ME UP.

[scoffs]

YOU KNOW O'MALLEY'S BAR?

THAT NEW GUY'S REDOING

THE WHOLE PLACE.

MUSTA BOUGHT IT.

A REGULAR ENTREPRENEUR.

NOBODY'S TRYING TO FIX YOU UP.

EIGHT TENANTS IN A ROW,

ALL SINGLE GUYS.

HMM, WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

(Antonio)

WELL, IT'S A STUDIO APARTMENT.

IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GONNA

PUT A FAMILY OF FOUR

IN THERE.

(Angela)

HOW ABOUT AN OLD WOMAN?

HOW ABOUT A PRIEST?

(Rose)

A PRIEST, ANGELA?

PLEASE, BE REASONABLE.

A PRIEST CAN'T MARRY.

I'M PERFECTLY REASONABLE.

I JUST WANT YOU GUYS

TO STOP MESSING:

WITH MY LOVE LIFE.

WHAT LOVE LIFE?

[all chuckling]

(Rose)

OKAY, SHE'S GOT A POINT THERE.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING

ANY YOUNGER.

I'M 25!

LOOK AT YOUR SISTER.

MARRIED, PREGNANT--

YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.

FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME,

I AM NOT GONNA MARRY

A GUY JUST BECAUSE

HE MOVES INTO THE APARTMEN DOWN THE HALL.

NOW, THERE'S SOMEONE

OUT THERE FOR ME,

AND I'LL KNOW I WHEN I MEET HIM.

[laughs, snorts]

GOOD LUCK!

(Rose)

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,

LAY OFF YOUR SISTER.

IF SHE WANTS TO LIVE

LIKE A SPINSTER:

AND DIE IN THIS APARTMEN ALONE WITH A CAT,

THAT'S HER BUSINESS.

[laughter]

OKAY, AND WE WILL

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes