Smartass Page #2

---

That's exactly what

a terrorist would say.

We're going to Burger Bomb.

Oh, why didn't you just

say that in the first place?

Bye, Nick.

You have work to do.

Hey, Donny.

Hey, Otto.

She dead?

- Her, no.

- She looks dead, dude.

You can't say that

'cause she's not dead.

- Oh, she's not dead?

- No.

- Where'd you get her?

- She was a gift.

- Oh, she was a gift, huh?

- Yeah.

Think when she dies,

they're gonna, I don't know,

give you a new one?

Yeah, see, I don't

know why she said that

'cause she's not gonna die.

They got sh*t

goin' on by the stairs.

Yeah? Otto, what's

going on back there?

Yeah, Donny, she's

like grabbing onto her

f***in' head, dude.

Let her go.

Let her go.

Walk, dude.

Let her go.

Take her up,

man, get her inside.

What the f***?

Sorry.

It's cool, brother.

See you around.

Let's go.

Yeah.

Still think she's gonna die.

She probably will.

Hey.

Yo.

Nick, meet Chuchu.

Chuchu, you say hello to Nick.

Nice, real sweetheart.

Now, Nick, you

gotta promise me.

You gotta be careful

with this stuff

because it's gonna

make your face drip off

in like five minutes.

Not that that's a bad

thing, by the way.

That clean, huh?

Yeah, the guy's a

f***in' psycho, dude. You know?

You know, he made me take her

if I wanted to buy his sh*t.

Nick, the dude f***in'

gave me a human being.

Obviously I did because the

dude's f***in' scary, ya know?

So, Donny, I have a favor.

I didn't come up

with all the money.

Uh, sh*t.

That kinda makes me a

little nervous because

the dude was sketchin' out

about nothing bad happening,

now you're telling me you

only got half his money, Nick.

Say yes, Donny.

You know I'm good for it.

If you're not cut

out for this sh*t,

go get a job at a carwash.

Will you just take a

minute and just listen

to the words that are comin'

outta your mouth, please?

Look, my guy is a

trust fund surfer.

It'll be fine, just

meet me at the beach

around 10 and I'll

have the rest of it.

Yeah, right, meet at the

beach at 10 because

nothing bad ever happens

at the beach, right?

Donny!

You know, we're up.

I'm fine, right?

I'm fine, f***, I'll do it,

but only f***in'

because it's you.

Come on, buddy, you

gotta eat something.

Can't just survive off

of donuts and drugs.

I drink.

Z, Yoohoo is barely

considered a drink.

You're crazy.

Yoohoo is wizard milk.

It's wizard milk.

I'm getting you a burger

and you're gonna eat it, okay?

Hey!

You're gonna eat it

'cause I love you.

I don't want you

to hook up with Nick.

Ugh, what do you care?

It's just a bad idea.

I care.

I mean, he's cute and I'm

pretty sure he likes me.

Guys like him never like me.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes