Smart People Page #2

at least I have someone to blame.

And that adopted brother of yours,

Chuck, called.

He left a bunch of messages,

but I heard his voice

and deleted them all.

Yes, he showed up at

the office today, as well.

Oh!

It was so nice of you to come.

I'm Dr. Hartigan.

Now, I want you to call your brother.

Tell him to get my car

out of the impound lot.

And to have it here at 9:00 a.m. sharp.

Excuse me. No, you do that.

You know, because of the seizure,

you can't legally drive for six months.

I have to report it to the DMV.

No, just don't report it.

Six months? Six months...

I'm not being your chauffeur

for six months.

These times are crucial.

Young Republicans. Model UN.

National Honor Society.

I will hire a driver on Monday.

The insurance company will pay for it.

Okay, well, if you need anything,

just have one of the nurses page me.

I'm here all night. Okay?

Now, just go home and get some sleep,

and you'll get that perfect SAT score.

That's what I've been trying to do.

Mercurial.

I learned that word in the fifth grade.

Fecundity.

English is my first language.

Uxorious.

That's appropriately obscure.

Mind you, I know it.

Overly fond of one's wife.

That's my girl.

I have a good one.

Eft.

Let me ponder.

Short in stature. Diminutive.

No, sorry. Eft is a young newt.

They rarely put nouns on the SAT.

You knew that word, right?

Of course. A young newt.

I don't understand why

you had to check out so early.

I only get one Saturday morning

per week, you know.

Cry me a river.

Get off it, James.

So why did you try to jump

the fence

at the impoundment lot, anyway?

Where did you hear about the fence?

Two people from school

told me this morning.

Can you please move

to the passenger seat?

I seriously doubt that sitting

on the right makes you sick.

If I vomit, we'll both look stupid.

I remember when Mom used to drop

me off at kindergarten on Brighton.

You sat in the passenger seat then.

What the hell are you doing here?

Watching a documentary

on snow apes.

Hey, man.

Hey, Jim.

Good to see you, Chuck.

You look like you had

another growth spurt.

No, I don't think so.

Not since I saw you last.

I'm too old for this.

I would like an explanation.

Why are you here?

Vanessa said that

you couldn't drive for six months.

So I'm here to help.

Yeah, he's pretty sure he's

gonna move in and be your driver.

I think I got the perfect score today.

There was one tricky math one...

Did it ever occur to you that

I might not want you to drive me?

Let alone move in.

It did occur to me,

but Vanessa spoke

to the insurance company,

and they're not going to pay

for a chauffeur.

And I already wrote a letter of complaint

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