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and, uh, turn them into zombies.

And making them colonize the moon and Mars.

Funny, huh?

Except it's absolutely true, all of it.

We've been on Mars since '62.

It was May 22nd. That's a very important date for you to remember, pal.

- Yeah, that's my birthday. - Right. So, see...

the reason we're up there covertly is because of the greenhouse effect.

It all ties in. Yeah, greenhouse effect.

By the way, they discovered that in the '40s.

You can ask yourself what they've been doing sitting on their ass for 49 years,

huh?

While we're out here with some serious social diseases and everything

else.

Oh, never mind that. Everybody says...

"Greenhouse effect. A hundred years from now.

Oh, I'll be long dead, gone and out of here. "

Not so, my friend. Not so.

The government's sitting on the fact that it's 10-20 years maximum.

It's getting hotter, don't you think?

Yeah, it's not even summer yet.

Yeah, and when the polar ice caps begin to melt...

it's not gonna take a certified genius to understand that we're in

serious global confusion.

I mean, really, we're in massive mainline ecological chaos.

Anyway, it's happening even as we speak.

So, I'll tell you what they've already done.

They've colonized outer space.

Oh, they couldn't colonize everybody. No, no.

That would be global bankruptcy.

We couldn't beat the greenhouse effect anyway.

This secret group, you know, the group that's in charge of the government -

Oh, yeah. They're gonna get boosted off this rock before it melts.

And the rest of us, what do they care?

We're gonna be left here to fry.

By the way, there's something you should know.

You see, this entire operation's being funded...

by the profits from the Medelln drug cartel.

And they're specifically set up by the C.I. A...

to handle large sums of money being funneled into this project.

Keep it under your hat.

The people they need, like scientists. You heard about that?

All the missing scientists around the world, and those that are

mysteriously dying...

that's all part of the recruiting process.

I really hope your friend is not, well -

Well, they need a lot of lackeys to do the labor though.

So they'll be looking for ordinary guys.

You know, just like you and me.

Yeah, they need those to kind of colonize things.

You know, they do a little psycho-surgery on us, a little liquid lobotomy

here.

Well. And I know this for a fact.

They got this drug down in Guatemala in the rain forest.

Why do you think the C.I.A.'s down there hacking the hell out of

that forest, huh?

Make sense? Sure it does.

Yeah, this drug takes away your long-term memory...

leaves your short-term memory, so there you are.

You got people that don't know who they are, where they came from...

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