Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth Page #4
- R
- Year:
- 2000
- 86 min
- 383 Views
Time's up, Boner!
It's Bah-ner, ma'am.
Not for long.
Dead Boner Walking.
I hope you guys don't mind,
I may have to get home early.
Me and Milli,
are about halfway
through the Kama Sutra.
Awww, Boner.
I don't want to share you.
Yeah, what's she got
that we don't have?
A twin sister.
Slab!
Look out!
Can everybody keep a se cret?
I'll fry.
Yes.
This never happened.
Slab, I think you've had enough.
Really, darling?
Your concern is admirable,
but completely without merit.
I'm doing splendidly.
Anyone read that article in the
Times Science se ction last week?
Seems gene splicing
is all the rage.
Slab! Look out!
Can everybody keep a se cret?
Slab, I'm looking
for your Uncle Lou's urn.
We're s cattering his ashes
today. Have you seen it?
No.
Yes.
This never happened.
Shan... Shan... Shan... ah...
Shan... Shan... ah... kah.
Shanakah. Chachi...
Barbara, I'm afraid
it's worse than we feared.
- N urse Kevorkian, you mean...
- Yes, Barbara.
You have chlamydia...
and gonorrhea...
and syphilis...
and crabs...
Whew, I thought you were going
to say that I have herpes.
Oh yes, and herpes.
Damn those Starbucks
toilet seats.
Now young lady,
you wish to make aware
of your condition?
You mean a teacher?
Or, my dad?
Well, I was thinking more
like a boyfriend...
Oh.
Do you have a yearbook?
Barbara, Barbara,
please take some advice
from a women who's had some
experience in this area.
I wish to explain something
that we in the health profession
refer to as "hitting skins,"
"knocking boots,"
"doing the nasty,"
"bumping uglies..."
Sex can be a beautiful,
sensuous experience
between a man and a women
who truly love each other
and want to share eternity
laying in each other's
gentle embrace.
Or it can be a dirty,
filthy spankfest
in a bus station bathroom
shared by two anonymous
consenting adults
on a layover in Detroit,
and nobody ever need know.
I think you got my point.
Now, should we go and look
at your x-rays?
X-rays with a pap smear?
Oh, we're very thorough here.
I just can't figure out
what this white spot is.
You know, a pair of tube socks
works ever so much better.
Why, when I was your age...
I had this experience
I'll never forget.
There were three of us,
three of us in one bed...
Barbara, honey?
I'm expe cting Reverend Johnson
today, did he come yet?
Almost.
Barbara, I could never
be as beautiful as you.
Or swallow as much sausage.
Can I have your autograph?
Will you marry me?
- No me !
- No me !
Relax, there's plenty
of Barbara to go around.
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"Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shriek_if_you_know_what_i_did_last_friday_the_thirteenth_18077>.
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