Shrek the Third Page #4
Stop squirming, Arthur.
I'm not Arthur.
I am Lancelot.
That dork over there is Arthur.
This is, like, totally embarrassing...
...but Tiffany thinkest
thou vex her so soothly.
She thought perchance thou would
ask her to the Homecoming Dance.
Excuse me?
Like, whatever. She's into college guys
and mythical creatures.
Oh, Arthur...
...come out, come out, wherever you are!
You better run,
you little punk no-goodniks!
The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers
are over!
Hold it.
We're here for the mascot contest.
We're here for the mascot contest, too.
This is a costume?
Worked on it all night long.
Looks pretty real to me.
If he were real, could I do this?
Or this?
If it were real, that would have been
agonizingly painful.
- Now watch this!
- That's quite enough, boys.
Thank you to Professor Primbottom
and his lecture...
...on "just say nay".
And now, without further ado, let's give
a warm Worcestershire hoozah...
...to the winner
of our mascot contest, the...
...ogre?
That's right. I'm the new mascot.
So let's really try and beat
the other guys at...
...whatever it is they're doing!
This is all a bit unorthodox...
Where can I find Arthur Pendragon?
Hey, wait...
Classic.
You should be ashamed of yourself!
I didn't do it. They did.
Please don't eat me.
Eat him! Eat him! Eat him!
I'm not here to eat him!
Time to pack up
your toothbrush and jammies.
You're the new King of Far Far Away.
What?
Artie a king?
More like the Mayor of Loserville!
Burn.
Is this for real?
Absolutely. Clean out your locker, kid.
You have a kingdom to run.
So, wait... l'm really the only heir?
The one and only.
Give me a second.
My good people...
...there's a lesson here for all of us.
Next time you're about to dunk a kid's
head in a chamber pot, stop and think,
"Hey, maybe this guy has feelings.
Maybe I should cut him some slack.
'Cause maybe... just maybe...
...this guy's gonna turn out to be,
I don't know, a king?
Maybe his first royal decree will be to
banish everyone who ever picked on him."
I'm looking at you, jousting team!
And Guin? Oh, Guin.
Good friends, it breaks my heart, but...
...enjoy your stay here in prison
while I rule the free world!
Okay, let's not overdo it.
I'm building my city, people...
on rock 'n' roll!
You just overdid it.
Look at you!
You look darling.
Just precious. Look at her.
Any cravings since you got pregnant?
No. Not at all.
Do you smell ham?
It's present time!
Fiona, please open mine first.
It's the one in front.
"Congratulations on your new
mess mak..." Oh, mess maker!
"Hopefully this helps.
Love, Cinderella."
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"Shrek the Third" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shrek_the_third_18076>.
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