Shotgun Wedding Page #3

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[ Sarcastic Chuckle ]

[ Pensee ]

Hey-oh!

"good hair days

and bad hair days,

when you're looking

smoking hot...

and on those occasions

when maybe you're feeling

a little bloated"--

[ Pensee ]

Whoa! Oh, hell, no!

[ Ted ]

I don't think you should put

jokes in your vows, man.

[ All Talking At Once ]

No, guys.

Rosemary thinks I'm funny.

She likes it when I'm funny.

But not when you're

supposed to be pledging

your undying love and fidelity.

Yeah, man.

They're really terrible.

[ Pensee ]

She'll hate it,

and then she'll hate you.

[ Ted ]

You should take

another pass on 'em, seriously.

[ Pensee ]

They're really immature.

All right. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'll fix 'em.

[ Man ]

You're already-- [ Indistinct ]

[ Robert ] Hey, listen.

You been here all night, man.

You can go home if you want.

I can go?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[ Pensee ]

Three-way!

[ Laughing ]

[ Indistinct ]

[ Pensee ]

Yay!

[ All Laughing, Shouting ]

[ Pensee ]

It's okay. It's okay.

Everything's gonna be just--

[ Laughs ]

Dong-dong, dong-dong,

dong-dong, dong-dong

[ Man ]

We're standing in puke.

[ Pensee ]

I wrote "dong" on his face.

[ Laughing ]

Room for one more!

I'm coming.

I've never felt so alive.

Here. Two guys.

Good old time.

And the groomsman.

Rosemary is so cool

and hot.

Oh, man, thanks.

And rich.

Thanks, man.

Rich in tits!

[ Burbling ]

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah.

[ Robert ]

Protect the home base.

This is our land!

[ Imitates Shotgun Blast ]

I was on fire today.

Never even shot a gun before.

[ Robert ]

That's beginner's luck.

[ Laughs ]

Your best score

tied my worst score. What?

Oh, yeah?

Pull.

[ Imitates Shotgun Blast ]

Nailed it again.

[ Pensee Laughs ]

[ Plate Shatters ]

Can't miss.

Wait. What are you guys

talking about?

Skeet shooting.

What? Let's shoot skeet now.

Pensee, it's the middle

of the night. We can't--

I'm the groom.

We can do

what we want.

Whoa!

[ Imitates Shotgun ]

[ Plate Shatters ]

Come on!

[ Pensee ]

It's time to go

and shoot something.

I don't know what it is.

[ Ted ]

Love murder!

[ Robert ]

Okay.

[ Pensee ] Yeah.

Shh, shh, shh.

Shh!

It's like a--

Pensee, quiet.

I didn't say anything!

Pensee, quiet.

You be quiet!

You're talking.

I wasn't.

Okay. No more talking.

[ Chuckles ]

You wanna hold it?

Yeah, I do.

Touch it.

What was that?

You want me to shoot you?

Follow me.

[ Shotgun C*cks ]

[ Chuckles ]

All right. You ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Are you ready-ready?

I'm ready.

You ready-ready-ready?

Are you ready?

[ Pensee ]

I'm ready.

Okay.

Okay. Pull!

[ Gunshot ]

Oh! Slam!

[ Chattering ]

[ Blaze ]

They didn't invite me to this?

F***in' a**holes, man.

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