Shotgun Wedding

Synopsis: After Robert, a marrying-up groom, 'accidentally' shoots his fiance's Maid of Honor in the face during a drunken skeet-shooting session, his meddling mother does whatever it takes to ensure the wedding takes place.
Director(s): Danny Roew
Production: Fox
92 min

[ Panting ]

To whomever

it may concern,

if you're seeing this video,

I am most likely dead.

[ Creaking ]

You've heard about the gruesome,

tragic events that befell

the Milton-Fletcher wedding.

It's been all over the news.

But what you don't know

is the truth--

the real story, the story

that my cameras captured.

There are dangerous people

out there...

who are willing

to do whatever it takes

to suppress the truth.

But my art

will not be suppressed.

Whoever you are,

if this file finds its way

into your possession,

please mail a copy of it

to the F.B.I.

Mail a duplicate copy

to the Sundance Film Festival.

Okay? Make sure

you attach a note.

Tell 'em it's a rough cut.

You know, still working

on some things.

But mostly it's all there.

Just gotta put

the title sequence in,

it'll be all set.

I've stayed too long.

[ Rifle C*cks ]


I call my film

Shotgun Wedding.

[ Shotgun C*cks ]

[ Gunshot ]

[ Sighs ]

Robert. Hey, buddy.

How about a few words

for the camera

from the groom?


The video.


The wedding video. We--

We wanted to record


- [ Gunshot ]

- We could go back and relive

this special moment.

[ Screaming ]

- I could never forget today.

- [ Gunshot ]

- [ Laughing ]

- [ Screams ]

- [ Ax Strikes ]

- [ Screaming ]

No matter how hard

I tried.

[ People Screaming, Faint ]

You-You must have something

to say about your wedding.

[ Screaming Continues ]

Robert, you okay?


[ Woman Screams ]

[ Gunshot ]

[ Man #1 ]

You got it? We're rolling?

[ Man #2 ] I got you.

[ Man #1 ]

Check, check, one, two.

One, two, check. Got that?


[ Blows ]

So, um,

what exactly

are we focusing on?

I don't--

Everything, man. Uh--

Family moments,

problems, funny sh*t.

Nip slips.

Just let it run.

You know what I mean?

Just don't stop running the

camera. That's all, basically.

Get everything. Blaze?

You got it.

Get it all.

[ Pop ]

[ Man ]


[ Chattering ]

- Who are you?

- [ Man ] I had one of those

going on.

Just wanted to thank you all

for being here on-- with us.

We know that you all

had to take time out of

your busy, busy lives,

and some of you

had to fly across an ocean,

and it really means a lot to me.

And to me.

Well, to us.

[ All Laughing ]

[ Robert ]

I, uh-- Wow, man.

The Miltons, I just--

[ Sighs ]

A family anyone would kill

to be a part of.

I just feel so lucky

to feel so outclassed.

[ Woman ]

No. No!

Oh, now.

To those of you who witnessed

my embarrassing display

of skeet shooting this morning,

I'm a much better shot

than that.

I know my dad was probably

sitting there going,

"What? Did he not learn

anything in all those

duck hunting trips?"

Uh-- I blame

the wedding jitters.

- Oh.

- Not that I have

the wedding jitters!

Everyone, the Honorable

Judge Philip "Flip" Milton.

Just so everyone knows,

he likes to be referred to

as "sir," so--

No, no.

That's not true.

I prefer

"Your Honor."

Okay. Well.

Here's to Rosemary

and Robert, huh?


Thank you. Thank you.

I'm Ted.

I'm the best man, and--

Best man.

Hear, hear.

Guilty. Guilty.

Guilty as charged.

I have been best friends

with Robert since high school.

And who would have thought

both of us would end up marrying

such classy dames?

Um-- Actually,

my wonderful wife, Elizabeth,

is to blame

for this whole thing,

'cause four years ago,

she said to me,

"You know, my friend Rosemary

is smart and beautiful

and rich.

But she's got

terrible taste in men."

[ Chuckles ]

She said, "Why don't we

introduce her

to your friend Robert?"

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Patrick Casey

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Shotgun Wedding" STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 24 Mar. 2023. <>.

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