Shortbus Page #4

I think my throat's closing.

I can't use the last two.

Are you a really heavy bleeder?

On my second and third days.

That's so hot.

You know, I use menstrual blood as makeup in my show.

Tampons. Just pull them right out, fresh from the fruit, and use it as lipstick.

It's a period piece.

You're kidding.

I should really use that in the show.

That's the first funny thing you've ever said in your life.

Would you be interested in doing that?

You mean, donating... my...

Some of your menstrual blood for my face.

Oh, come on now!

What?

Join the line!

Did that make you...

I think it just made you uncomfortable

because you're a little baby homo.

- What are you doing?

Does this really have to do with an orgasm?

It comes from her f***ing p*ssy,

why are you so f***ing uncomfortable about it?

I can deal with pussies!

I'm around them all the time!

I'm not talking about your f***ing boyfriend.

Get off of me!

You got a boner!

That's my cellphone, you f***ing albino butch f*ggot!

Want to f*** me there with your mangina?

just for cockfucking me, you f***ing dick.

Hi.

Are you OK?

There's just, uh...

lots of, uh...

Men?

Yes.

- Jesus.

My name is B*tch.

Hi B*tch.

You are?

Sophia.

Hey, sister. Sit down.

You're in the right place.

You're in the P*ssy Palace.

So you're a sex therapist

but you've never had an orgasm?

Actually I prefer the term "couples counselor".

Have you ever been with a woman?

Uh, no, you know--

I'm not sure if I'm wired that way.

Rob's the only person I've ever been with.

Wow.

- It's cool.

My god.

You must have some major blue clit.

Did you do those PC muscle exercises?

You know, the PC muscle that controls your pee?

So when you're peeing next time,

just, you know,

squeeze it up and then let it go.

Squeeze it up, let it go.

That's good for your orgasms.

I'm doing it right now.

Can you guys tell from my face?

May I ask you a question?

I wanna know what did your very orgasm feel like.

Welcome to Lifetime Television.

It's all about your pussies.

This is gonna sound really cheesy, but

I felt like I was shooting out creative energy into the world,

and it was merging with other people's energy,

and then there was no was. There was peace.

Wow.

Well, mine was definitely with Little Prince.

We had this incredible connection.

We just like made it really slow and still,

and I felt like I was finally not alone.

Mine felt like I was talking with the gods or something.

You know, they were--

Shut the f*** up.

Excuse me?

Sophia, if you've never had an orgasm,

then how does it feel like

for you to have sex?

Great.

Yeah. Sex is really awesome.

I love sex.

Sex feels terrific.

- That's great.

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