Shaun Of The Dead Page #4

I thought it would be funny

because of what you said last night

about you don't want to be

my mum and that.

It's just a little joke,

just sort of spur of the moment.

- They're for your mum, aren't they?

- Yeah.

Smooth.

If I don't do something, I'll end up in that pub

for the rest of my life

like those other sad old f***ers

wondering what the hell happened.

What do you mean do something?

F*** her. You got your pint.

You got your pig snacks.

What more do you want?

Oh. You want your favourite monkey?

Shall I do Clyde?

See, I knew you'd get over her.

# If you leave me now... #

Who the hell put this on?

It's on random.

For f***'s sake. John, yes please, mate.

You know what we should do tomorrow?

Keep drinking.

A Bloody Mary first thing,

a bite at the King's Head,

couple at The Little Princess,

stagger back here and bang...

back at the bar for shots.

How's that for a slice of fried gold?

- No.

- Come on, man.

Talk to me.

She said if she stayed with me

she'd end up in here for the rest of her life

like these sad old f***ers

wondering what the hell happened.

That is harsh.

- These are rich, interesting characters.

- Like who?

Snakehips. Always surrounded by women.

He's a bigamist.

Strangled his first wife

with a draught excluder.

And invented the mobile disco.

What about her, then?

Ooh! Cockacidal maniac.

She's an ex-porn star.

They say she starred in

the world's first interracial hardcore loop.

Cafe Au Lait...

Pour Vous.

Yeah. What about John, then?

He's North London Mafia.

It's true, Big Al says so.

Yeah, Big Al also says dogs can't look up.

Think about it. Handy with a blade.

Gruff demeanour.

Bernie, the trophy wife.

He's connected.

Why is there a rifle above the bar?

- The pub's called the Winchester.

- Exactly.

See, you don't need Liz to have a good time.

- Don't, man.

- No.

Oi, look at me.

Can I just say one thing? I'm not gonna

say there's plenty more fish in the sea,

I'm not gonna say if you love her let her go

and I'm not gonna bombard you with clichs

but what I will say is this...

it's not the end of the world.

Sorry, we're closed.

Pisshead.

# Ooh, white lines

# Visions, dreams of passion

# Going through my mind

# And all the while I think of you...

Oh?

What's the matter, love,

haven't you had your tea?

# Something of a phenomenon

telling my body to come along

# Cos white lines

# Blow away...

- Shh!

Blow!

# Ah, get higher, baby

# Ah, get higher, baby, ah, get higher, girl

# Ah... #

What? He should say base.

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