Shall We Dance Page #4

before I could hear anything.

Well, there's lots of other reasons

why he could be whispering.

I mean, maybe he didn't wanna

wake up the kids. Huh?

Or he could be planning a surprise for you.

I mean, your birthday's coming up, isn't it?

In two weeks.

That's it.

Take a breath, go get yourself a brownie

in the kitchen, just chill. It's gonna be fine.

OK.

- Euh!

- Ooh-hoo-hoo!

You silly goose, you.

She'll be divorced by Easter.

Come on, John.

Join the warm-up.

Ow!

- Jesus! I'm sorry!

- Watch your floorcraft, spasmo!

What, you think you own this floor? I'll

have a bruise the size of Texas tomorrow!

- Go away!

- Go away? You go away!

Take your stupid music with you!

I can't dance to that crap.

You just gonna stand there

and let that fat cow insult you?

- I'm sorry, what did you say?

- Nothing. She didn't say anything.

Sorry. These are the teeth

I wear for the Latin.

It gets your smile out there.

Just a little bit bigger smile.

Bam! Gets the judges right

in the eye, catches the light.

And then the make-up -

you know the make-up.

"Swish-butt," "Fancy pants,"

"Pinky boy"...

All these names, all these names I've been

called ever since I was eight years old...

and dancing around

to my mother's rumba records.

You know what

the worst of it is? Huh?

I'm not gay. Can you imagine how much

easier my life would be if I were?

I mean, a straight man who likes

to dance around in sequins...

walks a very lonely road.

I got news for you.

Look, you're not gonna

tell anybody in the office, are you?

No, no, no. I wouldn't do that.

Look, I'm in the same boat, aren't I?

No, you're not. You're not.

- Why not?

- Because... people like you.

You know what I mean?

You're charming.

I'm Linky Link. They would

crucify me if they found out.

I'm the sports trivia king,

I'm the super sports fan, you know?

- You don't like football?

- I... You know.

Run three yards, fall down, pile up.

Run three yards, fall down, pile up.

I mean, you know, four months of that,

I'm ready to put a gun to my head.

- Fooled me.

- I know. I fooled everybody.

You know what my dream is?

What?

My dream... is to be able

to dance free and proud.

Under my own name.

For all the world to see.

That's my dream.

Did I get it all?

Hey, Andy. It's Bev.

Look, I'm sorry to call you so late.

I was just trying to find John.

Called the office at six and Betsy said

that he'd left for the day, and I was just...

You got home by five?

How did you manage that, you lucky dog?

Ah, there's the door.

OK. See you. Bye.

Sorry I'm late.

I got hung up at the office.

I wish you'd call, 'cause we were looking

all over for your car keys forever...

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