Shall We Dance

A million and a half people

ride the El trains every day.

Over 20 years, I've written wills

for about 8.000 of 'em.

I've sat with 'em as they've

combed through their assets.

Figured out which kid gets

the painting over the fireplace,

which one gets the

antique spoon collection.

Last thanks, parting shots, confessions...

People try to fit it all in.

And once I've finished,

another life has been summed up -

assets and debts tallied,

then zeroed out.

You initial here and there,

you sign at the bottom...

then, If you're like most clients,

you look up, smile,

and you ask the question I've heard

for 20 years:
"Is that it, then?"

"That's it for the paperwork", I tell 'em.

"The rest is up to you."

# Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday, dear Dad

Happy birthday to you

Ohh, wow. Beautiful.

All right, make a wish.

Sorry. I just have

to take this call.

- Did you win?

- "Take this call"?

- She's 14. How can she be "taking calls"?

- Jen, not now. Now's not the time.

Remind me, why was it we agreed

to give her the phone?

- Emergencies.

- Which this is, by the way.

Serious problem over there.

Get off, Jen.

Now, please. Come on.

- All right!

- Come on, get off.

Yeah, my dad's just gonna blow out

about a million candles. Bye.

All right, everyone,

are we all happy now?

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Sorry about the bathrobe.

- What do you mean?

Oh, I just had such a hard time

getting you a present.

I love this bathrobe.

I think the problem is that

you never really want anything.

- That's not true.

- That's true.

- Tell me one thing that you really want.

- What you gave me tonight.

Evan coming home, everyone's

at dinner, that cake you make...

Tell me one thing that you want

that comes in a box.

I rest my case.

Yes! That's it! That's it!

That's what we needed.

Good night, Mary.

I left the Anderson will on your desk.

Night, Bill.

Next stop. Sedgwick.

Hello. I'm home.

There's a female bonding ritual

going on in the den.

- I know.

- What are they doing in there?

Tattooing "I love Satan" on their foreheads,

piercing their bellybuttons, stuff like that.

- Great. What did you say about that?

- I said, "Don't get any blood on the couch."

I worry about Jenna. She's

too beautiful. That's your fault.

- Here, sign this.

- What is it?

- It's your mom's birthday card.

- Oh, God, thank you.

- How was your workout?

- Same. How are you?

Fine. You know, ordering the

spring line at the store, yada-yada.

- I've got to get going.

- I thought you just got here.

Yeah, but it's the fundraiser

at Jen's school.

So your dinner's in the oven

and the girls have already eaten.

Can we go see a movie sometime?

Yeah. Or at least we could

look at the ads in the paper together.

How are you doing?

Fine.

Check on them now and then, OK?

Don't wait up.

Get out of here, Dad!

Bev? It's not true

that I don't want anything.

Bev?

Doors open on the right.

- Doors closing. Next stop, Sedgwick.

- Excuse me.

Oh, my God. What are you doing?

What are you doing?

You know what?

I'm gonna just go up.

Oh, my God.

That was a great class.

Come on.

- Are we goin' up, or what?

- I'm just trying to...

Here.

- OK, don't do that.

- Do what?

Stand there looking dumb.

It's just not cute in a guy your age.

Be a doll and help me

carry my clothes.

Come on.

And stop lookin' at my ass.

I'll try.

T... A... N-G-O...

T... A... N-G-O...

T... A... N-G... Oh!

- I found him at the bottom of the stairs.

- Um... Uh...

Paulina, could you help?

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