Sexy Evil Genius Page #2

All I play is the radio.

I mean, I can barely work my iPod.

Okay. It's about something else.

- How well do you know Nikki?

- As well as anybody.

You know,

we lived together for five months.

Were you, like, roommates?

No, man. We were deep in it.

What's...

They were f***ing.

Yeah. I mean, I get it.

So, hold up, you're an ex, too.

- Ex numero uno.

- Holy sh*t.

You're the guy who threw up on her

shoes at the Waffle Shack.

Don't go! No, no, please.

Holy sh*t.

- She tell everyone that story?

- I think so.

We all have one thing in common.

What's that?

No. You and Nikki?

Deep in it.

Damn, girl.

And did you know that Nikki was

recently released from an insane asylum

because she killed a guy?

- What?

- Yeah.

Her boyfriend at the time.

- Bullshit.

- Not.

Nikki told me herself. I just told Zach.

Wait, she killed a guy?

Damn, now I need this.

Wait, how is she even out?

Not guilty by reason of insanity.

Why does that hardly surprise me?

Everything the girl does, man...

The secrets, the games, this tonight,

anonymous gathering of ex-lovers.

Who does this?

I mean, she calls for the first time

in years and what do each of us do?

Drop everything, absolutely no questions

asked, to show up at this bar.

- We're devotees.

- No, suckers, man.

I remember one time, we were 16

and this punk band from Japan

that Nikki worships,

the Go Go Zombies, are playing at the Roxy.

But it's 21 and over to get in,

so we need fake IDs.

First we go to MacArthur Park

and we find these gangbangers

who say that they could hook us up.

But, like idiots, as soon

as we showed them our money...

So now we've got no IDs

and no money to even buy tickets,

but Nikki won't give up.

- No, she never gives up.

- Never ever.

She makes me drive to the Roxy way early

and wait until the band shows up.

All right, we're here, but I'm telling you,

they're never gonna let us in without IDs.

Trust me, this is gonna work. Take this.

- And then she attacks them...

- Comrades.

... pretending to be

this Russian journalist.

We come all the way from Moscow to see

Go Go Zombies perform in USA.

- Magazine?

- It's like our Russian Rolling Stone.

"Russian Rolling Stone."

Da, comrade.

"You big. Go Go Roxy Zombies big.

"Tell us American Russkie comrades."

Number one record.

Yeah!

So give samurai!

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

- Great.

- You take a picture with us.

Good. Okay, get in close.

Yeah, everyone close together.

Maybe not as close. You come...

So they invite us backstage.

We get to see the show for free.

But then afterwards,

I can't find Nikki anywhere.

She's gone.

I know where this is going, man.

Then the next day, I see her at school.

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