Sex And Death 101

Synopsis: Just before he's to marry Fiona, Roderick Blank receives an anonymous e-mail with 101 names on it; Fiona's is the 29th, the first 28 are women Rod has slept with, and the 30th turns out to be the stripper at his bachelor party. The notion that he will have sex with 70 more people sends Rod into crisis mode, especially after three odd men in an aseptic office confirm that a celestial machine has made an error. They suggest destroying the list, but Rod finds that easier said than done. Working his way through it consumes him, plus he realizes that death may await him after #101. Meanwhile, a femme fatale nicknamed Death Nell is putting men into a coma. Are they fated to meet?
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Daniel Waters
Production: Anchor Bay Entertainment
  1 win.
 
IMDB:
6.0
Metacritic:
24
Rotten Tomatoes:
25%
R
Year:
2007
117 min
Website
21 Views

Who the hell's Roderick Blank?

[Narrating]

That would be me.

You ever see a guy

walking down the street

looking so happy and content

you wanna find the nearest brick

and turn his face

into hamburger meat?

I'm sorry. That April morning,

I was that guy.

I couldn't help it.

I had what I thought

at the time to be it all:

excellent job,

excellent soon-to-be wife,

excellent life.

If only I hadn't let Trixie

open that last e-mail.

What would you say if I broke out

into song right now?

You know how this good mood thing

of yours is killing me, Rod.

And yet... you persist.

[laughs]

Stop.

Stop! Or we're never gonna

get through these e-mails.

- [beep]

- Oh. Here's a beauty from Lester.

"'Re:
Bachelor Party Stripper Crisis."

Have I told you how grateful I am

that I'm a lesbian?

Delete! Delete!

My God.

Men like Lester are the reason

Death Nell was invented.

[Narrating]

I was a man above temptation.

Other woman had lost all appeal.

One in particular.

They called her Death Nell,

even though, technically,

she hadn't killed anyone.

Different hairstyles,

different outfits,

different spray-painted messages.

- [rasping]

- [puncturing]

The same comatose result.

[thud]

It was all we could

talk about that spring.

Five dates leading

to subversive seduction

and ending in endless slumber.

She was the worst thing

to happen to men,

and the best thing

to happen to media

in quite some time.

Needless to say, I had

picked the perfect moment

to be getting out of the game.

For every guy or gal,

there comes a time

when you say, its time.

Meet Fiona Wormwood,

my wife-to-be.

Stop staring, perv.

[Roderick narrating]

It's funny, looking back.

She was not the sweetest girl in the world.

Just, I-- I like-- okay.

But when it comes to

the person you're spending

the rest of your life with,

you want a bit of a sting.

There.

Your married friends

call you up for a barbecue.

-They tell you...

- It's time.

Your parents tell you...

- Son, it's time.

- [wheezing]

The whole damn universe tells you.

Don't make me the villain.

I told your sister

exactly how many pounds

she had to drop

to fit into that bridesmaid's dress.

Enough.

Let's talk about orchids. Orchids.

[Roderick narrating]

Yep. It was time.

[Trixie] Okay, if you can

tear yourself back to work...

Thank you.

I've downloaded the Big Mac.

I mean The Matador!

I don't know.

It looks like two all-beef patties,

special sauce,

lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions

on a sesame seed bun to me.

Boss.

Hey, that's very special sauce--

[Narrating]

As for the "excellent job" part of my life,

I like to tell reporters,

"It's always been

my dream to work

in a fast-food restaurant."

[chuckles]

I was being cute.

Our place was different.

You know...classy.

The plan was simple.

Swallow up the food names,

sleek the uniforms,

Starbuck the decor.

[chuckles]

Welcome to Swallows.

One Swallow Cornucopia to go!

Have a startling and unique day.

You, too.

Please, Trixie, tell me that was

the last goddamn e-mail.

- No, there's one more.

- [beep]

- Hold on.

- [computer chirping]

Doesn't say who it's from.

- [clicking mouse]

- [beep]

I don't know.

I'm getting, like, a virus vibe here.

Okay! It's your life.

Oh, that's weird.

It's a list of names.

Must be more wedding bullshit.

Well, they're all women's names.

Number one-- does the name

Patricia Francini ring a bell?

Patricia Francini?

Whoa, I haven't heard that name in...

Patty and I were co-captains

of my high school debate team,

her main claim

to fame being that,

in classic backseat drive-in fashion,

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Daniel Waters

Daniel "Dan" Waters is an American screenwriter and film director. He is the older brother of director Mark Waters. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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