Secret Admirer Page #3

F***ing Roger. Jesus,

how could I believe that guy?

Telling me

that Deborah Anne Fimple...

...wrote me a love letter.

Jesus Christ.

She wrote you a letter?

I bet it was Ricardo.

I'm going to kick his ass.

- What did this letter say?

- Everything I said to Debbie.

It sounded pretty good to me.

It wasn't good. It was great.

It was the best thing

I ever read.

It was like

"Tender is the Night"...

...or "The Way We Were. "

Ricardo's dead meat.

You know, this isn't really

that comfortable.

- Oh, here.

- Oh, thanks.

What a night.

We thrashed Roger's van.

You know,

maybe the letter's real.

Maybe somebody

really is in love with you.

I just wish I knew

why I loved her so much.

I mean, I think about her

all the time.

She's so beautiful.

Everything about her.

She's perfect.

I hate Steve Powers.

She's probably letting him

feel her up right now.

- Ouch.

- I'm sorry.

Well, I guess

things could be worse.

I mean, I could be

at the hospital...

...having Steve's fist

removed from my larynx.

Thanks for saving me.

If you're so gaga about Debbie,

why don't you call her up...

...tell her to dump Steve

and give you a shot?

Yeah, right. After tonight?

You could always

write her a letter.

I hate writing.

Besides, she'd just tear it up.

Well, not if she didn't know

who it came from.

- What do you mean?

- Well, don't sign it.

Just have somebody else

give it to her.

And this way,

if she doesn't like it...

...she'll never even know

who wrote it.

You could give it to her.

Naw. I don't know.

Well, I'll see you.

You're really a good friend.

"Dear Debbie...

"You are so... "

"so... "

Sh*t.

"I long to have

your arms around me...

"and feel your body-"

Whoa, radical!

- Morning, sweetheart.

- Hi, mom.

What are you doing up

so early?

Summer vacation-

got a lot to do.

Like what?

Bunch of guys

are meeting at the park.

Got to try to pick up

some women.

What are you gonna do with them

after you pick them up?

I don't know.

What did Dad use to do with you?

Stuff I hope you won't try

until you're a lot older.

What's that?

- Breakfast.

- Looks disgusting.

It's good. Want to try?

I'm gonna fix you

some eggs and toast.

No, Mom, the guys are waiting.

Got to go.

- Jeffrey.

- Mom, I got to go.

Honey! You'll need some money

to buy a decent lunch.

OK, Mom, but a decent lunch

could be pretty expensive.

No tacos.

Gracias, seora.

Oh, my God.

Morning, dear.

Morning.

- What's the matter?

- I got something in my eye.

What is that?

- Breakfast.

- That looks disgusting.

- Want me to fix you something?

- No, thanks, I'm in a hurry.

I'll just catch a doughnut

at the office.

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