Secret Admirer

Synopsis: On the last day before summer vacations Michael receives a glowing, but anonymous, love-letter. He suspects, or better: hopes, it's from Deborah, the girl he's after since a while, but who dates college students only. However she shows him a cold shoulder again. So his and her best friend Toni advises him to write her an anonymous letter in return. However these letters get in the wrong hands and cause lots of confusion in their families, until it's revealed, who wrote which letter to whom.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): David Greenwalt
Production: HBO Video
Rotten Tomatoes:
90 min

- Hey, Michael.

- Hey, girls.

What are you guys doing here?

You going home?

Well, I'll go with you.

What timing.

So, what are you guys

gonna do tonight?

- Not much.

- Kappa Omega party.

Oh, yeah, Kappa Omega.

I heard about those dudes.

Aren't they the big homo house?

I suppose one might try

to poke fun at it...

...if one were insecure

about one's own masculinity.

Yeah, I hate guys like that.

They're so immature.

Hey, beautiful, want a ride?

No, thanks, Steve,

I'll just walk.

Oh, Michael, you're so mature.

- See you tonight, Ton.

- Bye, Deb.

So, slick,

what are you gonna do tonight?

Does she really like that guy?

Debbie, I think, likes the idea

of going out with older guys.

Yeah? What about you?

Me? Oh, I have no standards.

I'd even go out with you.


we've been friends too long.

Besides, I do have standards,

so that'll never happen.


What if I grew a mustache?

Do you think Debbie would go out

with me if I grew a mustache?

Well, I don't know.

Can you?

Well, if you can do it, I can.

D*ckhead, we were waiting

for you in the parking lot.

Come on. We got some crucial

partying to do at your place.

- See you, Toni.

- Bye, Michael.

- Hi, Toni.

- Hello, Roger.

Come here.

Do you got a ride?

No, actually, I don't.

Gee, that's too bad.


Bologna? Peanut butter?

Yeah, but forget

that strawberry sh*t.

Bring the boysenberry syrup.

And white bread.

Whole-wheat makes me fart.

We know.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Do you have any brie?

Come on, you homo.

Come here, you guys. Help me

carry some of this stuff.

Come on.

How am I gonna-hey.

Open sesame.


- Brewski!

- Beer!


All right!


Ah, summer.

Great. I got no job.

I got no woman.

I got no money.

I'll probably be spending

the next 3 months with you guys.

Oh, I'm depressed, fellas.

Uh-oh. Barry's depressed.

Yeah, right. Listen to this.

"Three international banks...

"predict dire consequences

for the European community...

"if the dollar

takes a sudden plunge. "

You're too f***ing weird

for words, Ricardo.

You're abusing this magazine,


This magazine isn't for reading.

It's for beating off.

Well, what do we have here?

- Hey, guys, give me that.

- What?

- Give me the envelope.

- The envelope, sir.


Come on, Michael.

You guys are a bunch of f***ing

a**holes, you know that?

It's obvious that nobody has

any respect for a man's privacy.

- Thank you, Roger.

- No problem.

Holy sh*t. Listen to this.

"I don't know how to tell you

what I want to tell you...

"so I'm writing it down.

"I'll never find the nerve

to give you this letter anyway.

"When I look at you, I can't

take my eyes off of you. "

Kirkpatrick, did you write this?

You wish.

"I long to have

your arms around me...

"and feel your body

against mine. "

Whoa, radical.

"I know you don't feel

like I do...

"which is why I don't have

the courage to sign this.

"But I just love you

more than words can say.




Michael, who wrote this?

I haven't even seen

the letter yet, dog-breath.

Boy, I sure know

who I wish it was from.

Yeah, Deborah Anne Fimple.

Oh, come on.

No way.

She goes out with college guys.

Yeah, that's exactly

what she wants us to think.

When they want you the most,

that's when they want you... think they want you

the least.

Wait a minute.

Somebody's in love with Michael,

and we don't know who it is.

Quite a grasp

of the situation there, Douglas.

Why would a great girl

like Fimple...

...go out with a yahoo like him?

Hey, wait a minute, you guys.

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Jim Kouf

Jim Kouf (born July 24, 1951) is an American screenwriter, director, and producer. He received the 1988 Edgar Award for Best Motion Picture Screenplay for his work on Stakeout (1987). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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