Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse Page #3

Oh, doodle!

That's my lucky knife!

Teach you to mess

with Scout Leader Rogers!

So we're just gonna

walk in there like this.

No I.D.'s, just buy some beer?

Just give me the $20, fool. Come on.

Cough it up.

Any day now. Come on.

Hang on. It's Velcro. It takes a second.

Watch a pro.

Hi, sir. How are you today?

Hey, baby.

Oh, nice. Great plan, Carter.

Just give the money to a drunk bum.

That'll work.

Yeah!

Just the cheap stuff.

Did you see Officer Hottie?

No. I was too busy

watching you lose 20 bucks.

Okay, I gave him

very specific instructions.

He's gonna buy us a couple of six packs,

and he can keep the change.

Jesus.

Whoa.

Holy sh*t, dude. That's her.

What? Who?

It's Denise What's-her-face.

She went to our high school.

She dropped out a couple years ago.

Now she's a stripper.

How do you even know that?

She's a legend.

What the f*** is he... Jesus Christ.

Sir!

I'm not paying for these items.

Sir?

- Sh*t!

- Oh, uh...

It's okay. I got it. Seriously, I got it.

F***ing ghetto-ass bag.

Here.

What are you doing?

It's a sheet bend knot.

It's impossible to break.

You're pretty handy.

Thanks.

Get out.

- Nice legs.

- Huh?

Costume party?

Oh, no, I'm...

I'm a Scout.

Like an actual Scout?

Yeah, well. We got a campout tonight.

So you work across the street?

Yep. Glamorous, huh?

Yeah. I mean, I've never been in,

but I hear it's nice.

It's got a good Yelp review.

- What?

- Nothing.

You're just... You're really cute.

Thanks.

Come on, Carter.

Please tell me

you did not ask that guy to buy you beer.

No, it was his idea.

Rookies.

Where are you...

I need my $20 back.

It's not all yours.

You're dirty. Look how dirty...

Here.

Thank you.

Thank you. Here.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

You're the most amazing person ever.

Thank you.

Yeah. Thanks.

It's cool. And thanks for the help, Legs.

Yeah.

Dude, what the f*** was that?

Oh, my God.

I would tongue-pound

her salty walrus any day of the week.

BENZ Oh, sh*t.

- He's staring at us.

- Go.

Dude, I thought you said

that Kendall broke up with that Jeff guy.

Dude, I thought so too.

It's like, one moment, they're together

and the next moment, they're broken up.

So he's a dick.

It's like no doubt...

Hey, guys!

Hey, what's up?

All right. Campsite is halfway set up.

- Nice.

- Great.

- What's up?

- What's up?

What's up?

Oh! Too slow. Too slow, buddy.

Where's Scout Leader Rogers?

He was supposed to be

here to help me set up,

but so far he's a no-show.

That's weird. He's never late.

Yeah. Maybe he quit Scouts.

Quit Scouts? Yeah, right.

That's hysterical!

Want to know what I think it is?

I think it's a test.

A test?

Well, yeah.

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