School for Scoundrels Page #6

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another $3,000 a year. "

Well, let me tell you

something, Ernie.

This class is five grand-

you're already behind.

"I want my wife

to stop abusing me. "

Jesus Christ, Diego,

you got to be shitting me.

I thought those questionnaires

are supposed to be confidential.

News flash:

I lie.

Now, in those bags

are 15 semiautomatic

high-powered paintball guns.

Pass them out.

You will

trust no one.

It is time to kill

or be killed.

Um, what are

the teams?

There are no teams- it's

every man for himself.

No helmets?

No helmets,

no goggles,

no nothing.

And if that's

not enough,

somewhere out there

in those woods,

Lesher's there,

just waiting.

It says here to maintain

a minimum distance

of 100 feet between

shooter and target, though.

Oh! My God!

Now, does anybody else

want to read

their gun?

Huh?

Uh, when do we start?

Now.

He already shot me!

Are you guys a

bunch of retards?

Spread out!

d d

d d

My eye!

Walsh!

- I'm sorry!

- My eye!

I'm so sorry!

It's okay! I'm here!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

Gotcha.

Never trust anyone.

I thought we

were friends.

You know what

Dr. P says:

"Friends are just obstacles

that stand between you

and success. "

Touch.

DIEGO:

Not so fast, gentlemen.

Looks like we got

ourselves a situation.

What are we gonna do?

Every man

for himself.

You know the rules.

Well, well, well.

What do we have here?

Looks like you three are

in a pickle, doesn't it?

Throw your weapons down.

Now!

Eyes off me!

Eeny, meeny,

miny, moe...

What you looking at, man?

Don't look at me.

Dude, this is not cool.

No talking.

Haven't you done

enough to us already?!

Oh, I don't know, ladies.

You know what?

It's gonna get a whole lot worse

before it gets any better-

understand that.

What more are you

planning to do to us?

Who knows?

I just tend to go

with the flow.

Let's just see where

things take us.

I tend to get very,

very creative in these

type of situations.

Hey, Lesher.

I shot Lesher!

Whoo!

d I used to be

such a sweet, sweet thing d

d Till they

got a hold of me d

d I opened doors

for little, old ladies d

d I helped the blind to see d

d No more Mr. Nice Guy... d

Roger!

Whoo!

Hey, Roger.

Roger!

Dr. P wants

to talk to you.

Alone.

You wanted to see me?

Congratulations.

You did well today.

I'm impressed.

Oh. Thank you.

Who knows?

Maybe one day, I'll

teach the class.

What was your name again?

Roger.

Right. Roger.

So tell me, Roger,

why did you sign up

for this class?

Well...

it's kind of

complicated.

What's her name?

Um... Amanda.

She lives in

my building.

What does she do?

Well, she's

Australian...

She works as an Australian?

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