Scary Movie 5 Page #3

Okay, settle down, class.

Settle down. Settle down.

That's it. That's it.

I'm your substitute,

Mrs. Tingle.

Today we're going

to be studying

about the perse cution

of the Jewish people.

Who can tell me what the verb

is in this sentence?

Sabrina? Moesha? Daria?

Ooh? Eeh? Ooh ah ah?

Who can tell me if Frankenstein

was circumcised?

Martina? Don't forget to give

Grandma her laxative.

I won't.

Slab, I think you've had enough.

Why?

Be cause you won't have

any room for beer.

Whew, that was close.

Man, if I wre cked,

my dad would kill me.

Hand me a beer.

Guys, I think our senior year

is going to be the best ever.

I'm the new Kielbasa queen.

I just got accepted to

Harv ard Law School, baby.

I just got a foreign exchange

student living in my house.

She's Swedish !

- And I just got a D in math !

- Yeah !

Slab! Look out!

I think I hit something.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Yup, I've got a fever.

Slab, you've got blood

all over you.

Oh, that's no problem.

It comes out with

a little tequila.

Old s cout trick.

Slab, give me a hand.

Wasn't that trophy enough?

Yes, but we have

to dump this deer.

Alright, sweetie.

Can everybody keep a se cret?

Mar-teeen-ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Yes.

This never happened.

Who can tell me how

to conjugate the verb "expire"?

" Doughy."

That's an interesting name.

Thanks.

It's my dad's name.

He's a baker.

Hagatha.

Now that's a beautiful name.

Thanks.

My friends calls me Hag.

Oh, do they?

That's so cute.

Dammit! She's flat!

Actually, they're C cups.

I guess I got to get

these things redone.

Doughy.

Doughy...

I was wondering, how did you get

into this line of work?

Well, I got too fat

for the ballet,

and I could never

get my bulge right,

so I figured,

"What the hell?"

Hagatha...

Do you have a boyfriend?

Well, not yet.

Mail order, huh?

I tried that a few times myself.

If it doesn't work out,

would you let me know?

I sure will.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

Okay, Tiffany, Amber,

into the chair.

Come on, shake it!

Ladies...

Now, I need a volunteer.

Boner, you look like a victim.

You're up.

B-But, Mr. Hasselhof,

I-I can't swim...

- Perfe ct.

- No!

Parko!

I want to live.

Oh yeah, I want to live...

Yeah, right now, please !

Yeah.

Not so much tongue, Amber.

Now this is a textbook example

of mouth to mouth resus citation.

Some of you may want

to practice this at home.

Or, if you'd like

to stay after class,

- I'd be more than happy to...

- Ewwwww!

Boner!

It's Bah-ner, sir!

Not at the moment...

You have to make sure

this gets to the governor

as soon as possible.

It's my last chance,

little brother.

Otherwise, I'll fry.

Don't worry, Jimmy.

You can count on me.

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