SCARED SHREKLESS Page #3

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I was swift enough to repel the attack

and leap to safety.

Which is exactly

what he wanted you to do.

Charming laughed,

just like a crazed maniac.

No, I'm sorry, but I would never

let that happen to me.

Instead, I... I woke up.

Yeah, that's right. It was all a dream.

You mean a nightmare. You know

you're on the ceiling, right?

I will get you for this.

Oh! And then the lights went out.

It was horrible and sad

how Puss pleaded for mercy.

Mercy? Please.

Said Puss,

with his last dying breath.

But when the lights came back on,

it was the donkey

who was taking a shower.

Oh, my goodness.

Why would I do that?

And right behind you,

there was danger.

- Oh, man.

- You were paralyzed.

It was a donkey-eating waffle.

It was packing heat

and it wanted revenge!

I want revenge!

The donkey... ran.

But how far can you run

when you are on a plate,

covered in butter, wearing a pink tutu?

- No!

- And a sombrero!

And a coconut brassiere!

And about to be eaten alive!

No! Please!

Please, I'll switch to pancakes.

And the donkey was never seen again.

But what Puss didn't know

is that right behind him

was the one thing he feared more

than anything else.

- No. You wouldn't.

- I would.

- You didn't.

- I did.

No! Anything but that! No!

The end.

I'm pretty sure that's cheating.

It worked, didn't it?

Who's next in our little contest?

Has anyone seen the mice?

Are we there yet?

OK. I think it's time for a story

that's actually scary.

Yeah, whatever.

You had your chance.

Now then.

Something beyond comprehension

was happening to a little boy

on this street, in this house.

A man had come as a last resort,

because... no one else

would go near the place.

I hear you've been expecting me.

- You are the...?

- That's right.

I am...

...the babysitter.

Yes, yes.

Thank goodness that you've come.

My boy. I don't know

what's gotten into him.

I've never seen anything like it.

Trust me, buddy, I've got

three little ogres at home.

This will be a piece of cake.

Father.

Father!

- OK, then.

- Look, I'm telling you.

I've tried every trick in the book.

You see?

"Once Upon A Time-Out"?

Oh, come on, now.

- You're gonna listen to a goose?

- Please. You don't understand.

It's like he's two different people.

What your kid needs is discipline, not

a bunch of psychological mumbo jumbo.

You just gotta walk in there,

look him in the eye,

and show him who's...

Please tell me he's an only child.

Bubblegum fish pants...

Hello.

Well, here's your problem.

His head's not screwed on right.

When you wish upon a star,

you get lots of stuff.

Well, I wish for a nice, quiet evening

where you go to sleep

and I raid the icebox.

OK.

See? That was easy.

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