Saved! Page #3

She calls it

the miracle that saved my Iife,

The miracle

you could've used

would've been not falling out

of the tree in the first place,

Sorry,

Is that why

you're behind a year?

Yeah,

We should get back inside,

Nice,

- You want a push?

- Thanks,

If you stare at my ass again,

I will push you off a cliff,

Thank you, Jesus,

Amen,

AII right!

Welcome to

the first assembly of the year!

Give it up,

The Lord Jesus is in the house!

Let's get our Christ on,

Let's kick it Jesus style,

Y'all wanna walk

with the ultimate rebel, right?

The ultimate CEO,

The biggest celebrity of them all,

Who's down with G,O,D?

I'm down with the G,O,D!

That's right!

Jesus Rules!

Jesus Rules!

Let's pray,

Lord, we're gonna have

an awesome school year

here at American Eagles

Christian High,,,

I know I'm not supposed

to ask for specifics, Lord,

Iike when I prayed for an expensive car

and got the handicapper van instead,

but I want this to be

the best year ever.

And between you and me...

...I think you'll agree

I totally deserve it.

Thank you for sparing me from

the eternal hellfires of damnation.

I'm sorry I let that Promise Maker guy

touch me in the rectory.

Daddy still hasn't stopped drinking,

but I know you're working on it.

And I really want to be a Jewel.

I wonder if rollerboy's paralyzed

everywhere below the waist.

Oh, yeah, she digs me.

Please, Jesus,

don't let Dad humiliate me.

Those Jesus freaks

are on to something,

Especially in front of her.

About Dean and I,

I thought we had a deal.

Why is he at Mercy House?

You did restore me, right?

And keep our president safe,

Amen,

Now, who wants to come down here

and give their heart to the Lord?

Who wants to start the year

off right and get saved?

A Iot of temptations

over the summer,

I bet some of you folks

backslid just a Iittle,

Who wants to recommit

themselves to the Lord?

There we go!

AII right,

AII right,

Praise Jesus,

Fantastic,

Praise Jesus,

Come on down,

- There you go,

- Awesome,

Welcome home,

Welcome home to Jesus,

Welcome to his home,

Jesus Ioves you,

Praise Jesus,

Accept him into your heart,

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Bear witness,

She's speaking

God's Iove Ianguage, folks!

Oh, my God,

The Jew girl's speaking in tongues!

She's gonna show her b*obs,

Thank you, Jesus,

She is!

She's gonna show her b*obs!

Mahh possie is a hot pooosie!

Mahh hotta pooosie!

Mahh possie is a hot pooosie!

Mahh possie is a hot pooosie!

She's saying

she's got a hot--

After that, Cassandra's status

went from a cautionary tale to legend.

It seemed like there was no act

too vulgar to get her expelled.

The more she acted out...

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