Sausage Party Page #5

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I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean

for any of this to happen.

Well, it did. And now you and your

stupid, useless bun have f***ed us all.

Hey, who you calling useless,

you flappy f***?

Sausage, control your insolent bun.

And cover her up already.

- Show some modesty, woman.

- Ooh!

Hey, hey. Look, can we all just,

you know, calm down a notch, please?

Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable.

I'm Sammy Bagel Jr.

You know, I'm happy to meet all of you.

- Except for this meshuggener c*nt here.

- Hi, I'm Brenda. Brenda Bunsen.

Oh, wow. Really?

Well, f*** all of you!

I am Kareem Abdul Lavash!

And what I currently care about

is that I have been...

completely and utterly f***ed

out of being in the Great Beyond.

I am to have 77 bottles

of extra-virgin olive oil...

waiting for me.

I am destined to soak up

their sweet juices...

as they dribble down my flaps.

Okay. Look, guys, here's what

I'm thinking. We hurry back to our aisles.

We sneak into another package and

still be fresh enough to get chosen.

Okay, let's climb

to the top of the shelf here. And...

then we'll get a lay of the land...

and we'll figure out

where we're going. Come on.

As long as the bagel

stays away from me, I accept.

Oh, believe me, a**hole,

I'll keep my distance.

Oh!

No disrespect,

but you look f***ing gross, bro.

Look at you.

F***ing bent-ass, busted-ass nozz.

Oh, great.

You're leaking all your juice out.

Can I ask you a question, me?

Why would a god let you

up in her smooth, perfect sliz...

when you can't even squirt?

You got nothing to squirt!

I got no purpose.

I'm nothing!

Oh, God.

Is someone there?

Help me, someone.

Help me. Help me.

Help.

What's up, little juicy box?

You're leaking too, eh, bro?

And right out of your f***ing dingle.

F***ing sucks, right?

Dying. So cold.

Oh. Uh-oh.

- Light bulb.

- Yes?

No, not f***ing you, dummy.

I think I might be forming

some beginnings...

of what could be the flower

that blossoms into an idea.

If you f***ing tell anyone about this,

I'm gonna deny it, bro.

F***. This is some next-level sh*t, dude.

You f***ing like that?

I'm juicing up!

I'm like a full-on juicehead now, bro.

I got a new purpose now.

Revenge!

Where's that f***ing sausage?

Because this douche is DTFSU.

Down to f*** a sausage up!

I'm coming for you!

First you come into our aisle

and occupy more and more shelf space.

You even have settlements now on

the west shelf that you claim as your own.

Oh, look, it's not our fault

we needed a homeland.

The sauerkraut kicked us out

of every decent aisle.

They tried to send us to

the barbeque section, for God's sake.

- We were displaced.

- Don't you talk to me about displacement!

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