Satanic Page #2

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around the back.

Yeah.

Can you get the hell

out of the way?

Dick.

Wow, Dave,

you're just an a**hole magnet.

Yeah, no sh*t. I'm here with you.

Oh, my God. Dave, do you ever

get tired of being wrong?

Oh, you gotta be

- f***ing kidding me.

- Mm-hmm.

All right. Yeah.

They came this way about ten PM,

up the hill, to the backyard.

Big-ass hill. Jesus,

what were they? Sherpas?

Why'd they do it?

Manson thought some record

producer that f***ed him over

was still living here.

He was actually the target.

Wrong place, wrong time, eh?

On steroids.

Slit her stomach open.

- She was f***in' pregnant.

- Seth!

Oh, my God, it's so pretty.

I know,

that's what makes it so creepy.

Seth, get a picture of us.

Chloe!

- I don't want to.

- Chloe.

No. Fine.

- Say "Charlie."

- Charlie.

Yep. Totally worth it.

1641 Cahuenga.

Okay.

So, now we're touring porn shops.

Nah, dick,

they just don't advertise.

Call me a dick again, Seth...

Dude. Dave.

You gotta chill, bro.

He's right. You need to chill.

Chlo, do you know how much sh*t

we're missing right now?

It's almost over.

I'm just saying.

She's your cousin. Okay?

I barely tolerate her

and I don't like Seth.

- David.

- Seriously.

They don't even offer gas money.

Oh, my God, will you guys

f***ing grow a pair?

Seriously. Hell, f***.

Oh, I have a pair, Morticia.

Big pair.

Blow my f***ing mind.

Oh, how spine-tingly awesome.

Seth, check it out.

Mmm... incantations.

Check it out.

How wet are you right now?

Oh.

That's rad.

Boo!

- A bad hand-job.

- Good one, Dave.

- Is it real?

- It's mummified.

Taken from the body

of a convicted child murderer.

Killed a ten year-old girl

back in Modesto in '85.

Satanic Panic.

Cases like this all over

Southern Cali, right?

The Panic was a myth.

This a**hole was a killer

and a pedophile.

Satan had nothing to do with it.

Yet, here he is,

on display in your shop.

- Yo, how much?

- Not for sale.

What about this?

- You know Coptic Greek?

- I can read.

You need the accent

for the incantations.

It wouldn't work for you.

A**hole.

Well, I guess you're not

ready for the Dark Embrace.

You see his tattoo?

Yeah, upside down cross.

Very original.

Out.

Yeah, yeah. It's cool.

- Now, f***er!

- Or what?

Are you gonna

spill some pig's blood on me?

No, just cut your f***ing heart out.

Hey... Place is horseshit.

All right. Let's go.

Poser dick fucks. Shop sucks.

Well, that went splendidly.

I'm gonna burn this place on Yelp.

Enough of this sh*t.

We're doing the Starline Tour.

Dave at the wheel.

- I hate your van, Dave.

- It hates you.

I'm serious, it was like a shrine.

It had goats' eyes

and dried intestines.

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