Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic Page #3

ages to commemorate 911, which I hate.

You know it has a lot more than a pin.

I always think like I should get on it

if I wanna have kids. I just...

You know, once you had thirty you know you've got to decide fast

Cause it can be difficult to conceive, it can be dangerous.

And the best time to have a baby

is when you're black teenager.

I'm not like a hoydie-toydie kind of girl.

I dont wanna jewels. I'm not like...

I don't really... I'm not into jewelry or anything.

I'm such a hypocrite.

There's a jewel that I think is ...

I guess I'm in such a jap.

There is one jewel that I think is stunning. That I...

It's just like a classic. By jap I mean Japanese.

But it's a... It's just gorgeous. You know.

And it's really... Its rare.

You know it's only found like on the tip of

the tailbone of Ethiopian babies.

They debone the babies.

I know that sounds so bad

when you say it out aloud.

But no, if you saw it...

So worth it.

You know it's like...

How do I even describe it like a...

...like if a diamond had

that newborn baby smell.

I have a moral issue with it obviously cause they're

treating the unions that debone the babies really bad.

Pick your battles I guess. It's so cute.

I can't wait till Sunday I'm gonna see my

favorite niece and my other niece.

I shouldn't have favorites, I know I shouldn't but I just

can't help that she is crazy about me and I just love that in people.

And I can make her laugh so easily. I've always been able

to make her laugh. Like literally since she was a baby.

I could make her laugh, which is so great.

And you know what babies love.

Ethnic jokes.

She came out of the closet

recently, my niece.

Announced to the family that she is a lesbian.

She is seven. Did I mention that?

And I don't even know she knows what a

lesbian is. But I support her completely.

I'll tell you it's heartbreaking.

My sister punished her for it.

Can you believe that?

No p*ssy for a week.

Which to us may not sound likable, but when you're seven.

You know, week is a long time. You know. It's like...

She goes to a school where the kids are not

allowed to play tag on the playground.

And the reason that they give is that they say, you know,

if a kid loses a tag it could give him low self-esteem.

First of all it's f***ing retarded. Okay.

And, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't say that.

And by retarded I mean,

they can do anything.

I think self-esteem is born out of things like,

you know, I don't know preserving pasts...

...losing, you know, or getting through disappointment. Like that.

Maybe we should be giving these kids a reason to win.

We should be giving them motivation....

...you know, to win.

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