Sailor Beware Page #3

Synopsis: Because of a misunderstanding Melvin Jones is inducted into the Navy despite his numerous allergies. When appearing on a TV show sponsored by a lipstick manufacturer, fluke circumstances cause him to be perceived as an irresistibly great kisser by viewers, and he is undeservedly hyped in the media as "Mr. Temptation." His shipmates bet their pay that he can get Corinne Calvet, a sexy French chanteuse, to kiss him. Despite his allergy toward kissing girls, he tries not to let them down even though it threatens his relationship with girlfriend Hilda.
Director(s): Hal Walker
Production: Paramount Pictures
 
IMDB:
6.5
Year:
1952
108 min
103 Views


Let them use a typewriter ribbon.

- Ma!

- Hey, Melvin!

- Ma!

- Hey, get back in line there.

Do you have an appointment?

Would you mind waiting just a minute?

What's the matter?

Aren't you housebroken?

Hey, you don't use makeup, do you?

No, just a little lipstick.

Oh, I'm glad. What's your name?

Hilda Jones.

That's a coincidence. That's my name.

- Hilda?

- No, Jones. Melvin Jones.

- Where were you born?

- I don't know.

You don't know where you were born?

Oh, I thought you asked me

why was I born.

I was born in a bed, I think.

Don't you know?

How would I know?

I was just a little baby at the time.

Oh, come on, we're wasting time.

- Have you been at the bank before?

- Three times.

- Three times?

- I wanted to get a loan.

You wanted to borrow from the bank?

Well, I was a little short at the time.

I'd have paid it back

in a couple of months.

You should be ashamed of yourself,

trying to borrow blood

when it's so badly needed.

- Blood?

- Yes.

Everyone should donate

to the blood bank.

- What type are you?

- Oh, the quiet type.

- What type are you?

- Oh, the quiet type.

I go to bed at 9:00,

see a movie now and then,

read some books, play checkers.

No, I mean,

what kind of blood have you?

- Red.

- Oh, come on, we're wasting time.

I'll turn you over to the Red Cross nurse,

and she'll give you your orange juice.

- Orange juice?

- Yeah.

She'll give you a glass of orange juice,

and you give her a pint of blood.

Oh, that sounds like a fair exchange.

She gives me a glass of orange juice

and I give her...

A pint?

I haven't got any more samples, fellas.

I just gave it all away.

I'm scared. No, I'm scared.

Oh, come on, fellas.

- You still here?

- Yeah.

Did you expect me to be back

at my old job, singing in a nightclub?

Meet my agent. He gets 10%.

That's all for you.

All right, let's go. You're next.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, Melvin, this won't hurt you.

Go ahead.

- It won't hurt?

- It won't hurt.

- It won't hurt.

- No.

- What have you been doing?

- I've been to the blood bank.

Looks like your account's overdrawn.

Could I get fired for this?

No, but if you should see birds

following your ship,

don't bet they're seagulls, brother.

They're vultures.

Let me try that other arm.

You sure you're living?

Am I sure I'm living?

I don't know.

Made a hole in the wrong place.

I missed the hole, too.

- What's par for this course?

- All right, all right.

It don't have to be blood.

I'll take anything.

Let's turn him upside down.

Maybe it runs the other way.

Well, might as well give up, fellas.

We'll get blood if we have to dig all day.

What're you doing, patching a tire?

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James B. Allardice

James B. Allardice (March 20, 1919, Canton, Ohio — February 15, 1966) was a prominent American television comedy writer of the 1950s and 1960s. During World War II he served in the US Army where he wrote the play At War with the Army. Following the war, Allardice attended Yale University where his play was later on Broadway in 1949 and filmed in the same year with Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. Allardice is best known for his collaborations with writing partner Tom Adair on a number of highly successful American 1960s TV sitcoms including The Munsters, F Troop, My Three Sons, Gomer Pyle, USMC and Hogan's Heroes. Allardice won an Emmy in 1955 for best comedy writing for his work on "The George Gobel Show". He contributed to Alfred Hitchcock Presents, and wrote Hitchcock's "lead-ins" for all of the 359 episodes of the series, as well as many speeches for Hitchcock's public engagements. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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