Rzhevskiy protiv Napoleona Page #4

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You spent a lot of money from the budget.

Fish.

"You have one wish."

Do it

so that my head stops aching.

And?

It's good.

Nikolayevich...

And this is, as you say, only

a hero of wives' tales?

Rzhevsky back.

"Today confirmed by:

the rector of the school

of virtuous virgins

and gypsies Zara and Aza, independently.

This is the glory! And where am I?

You think I'm just a dumb soldier?

No, my Emperor.

You are a great military leader.

This is boring!

-My lord, hit me too.

How many times ? I...

I just want to be,

on the list of great lovers!

God, how he walks nicely!

Ma'am, are you okay?

-Drowsiness.

I see. How can I help?

-Tonight I have to be fresh,

as an eighth-grader.

Unfortunately, we don't do reincarnations.

But I can suggest:

mask, peeling, waxing.

All that and a bottle of mineral water.

-It will be done.

How nice to be a woman!

It hurts! I'll tell you anything,

Addresses, passwords, hiding places,

Just don't do any more down there.

-Do not be afraid. Just one second.

No! God! Please!

Don't!

Faster !

Tell me, please, who is that girl?

-That is Natasha Rostova.

Miss Europe of 1810.

Second place, after Norway.

Go, go...

Listen, guy.

I need your clothes.

Come on, take them off quickly.

This room is for men only.

Ladies are next door.

I'm never wrong with the door.

Chauvinist!

Come on, take them off.

Did you not hear me?

Take them off!

Listen, my name is Jean-Claude Van Damme.

I am also known

as "Muscles from Brussels."

Yes, I recognize you.

Take off your pants, I say.

It seems to me that you have to get out of here.

Okay. I recognize you.

-You do?

Yeah!

-Merci.

Yeah, but ...

Take your f***in' pants off!

Now!

Well, if you insist.

Now you will taste my fist!

What, chicken? Come on!

Watch out!

I asked nicely.

Well, well. Au revoir!

Why the f*** I came to Russia?

Nightmare.

Whose are you?

-Maximus! There you are, rascal.

Excuse me, miss.

But Maximus since he was a puppy

is drawn towards beauty.

He's yours?

-Yes. Dangerous hooligan

and libertine.

- What a miracle!

The miracle is you, Natalia.

- How do you know my name?

Who doesn't know the real Miss Europe?

The Norwegian icewoman

cannot match even the little toe on your foot.

So you are Lieutenant Rzhevsky?

-You know, the feeling won't leave me

that somewhere we have met before.

Yes, your face also looks familiar.

August 1808, Turkey.

Aboard the oligarchs' Aladdin,

"All- Inclusive".

No, this summer I was in Vienna,

for a demonstration of

global cooling.

When hundreds of naked women

protested near the Royal Palace?

I hurried over there!

But, alas, I was too late.

I'm sorry. You would have

enjoyed the sight, I'm sure.

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