Rzhevskiy protiv Napoleona Page #2

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Find a man who calls himself Count.

He heads the resistance movement.

He will give you further instructions.

I do not agree. Take me back.

I will not go into the cannon!

Lieutenant! Lieutenant!

-Where are you?

Lieutenant! Lieutenant!

Lieutenant! Take me with you.

I got divorced from my husband,

and now I completely belong to you.

-Fire!

Take me with you.

-Fire, Fire!

Dear Muscovites,

and uninvited guests of our city.

For a few rubles you can

get in on this exclusive tour,

of our capital before the fire.

I swear on my mother I didn't see.

Yesterday I checked,

and now the seal is gone.

Please, we'll go home, we'll talk!

Bollocks! Bastards!

As soon as I get there,

I'll make you pay for this!

I need your clothes.

Hasta la vista, woman.

Yes, this is Rzhevsky.

So.

Count LN Tolstoy

WAR AND PEACE.

Count Lev Nikolayevich, you?

-Do I know you?

Sure.

Your portrait is printed,

even in my fifth grade textbook.

-So you recognize me? Bravo!

So, you are the man

from the high command?

Yes. Lieutenant Rzhevsky,

ready for the task.

Vaat should I do?

-What?

I'm asking, vaat should I do?

-Firstly, you must pronounce correctly

'what', not 'vaat'.

-Do not mess with this lady, grandpa.

You're a 'lady',

is that right?

Scarecrow! Have you seen

yourself in the mirror? Barnyard hen!

Look, do not call me names, or I'll forget

your frailness. I'll mash your face so,

that you yourself will confuse it for Alexey's.

-Demyan!

I remember you complaining

that for three years you haven't seen a woman?

So what?

-Do you want this? Take it!

This scarecrow?

Lord, forgive me!

No. For this one, I'd be as well

without for three years, as ten.

Is that clear? And you're going to go like this

to Napoleon?

Bonjour, bonjour Count. Comment a va?

Long time, no see.

Bonjour, Madam. I apologize.

My peasant's shoes haven't been able to take me here.

The war.

Yes, war does terrible things to people.

You, Count,

have suffered spoiled taste.

Who is this scarecrow with you?

-I'm relying on your

professionalism, Madam.

This aunt must be turned

into a princess.

How many years do I have?

-Three hours.

For starters, men require

attractive packaging.

Here am I with a pair of wings,

coming near to you.

coming near to you.

My love soars above the fray.

above the fray.

Oh, this time

by a single pair of wings...

Lips, lips, lips. Lips are ladies' only weapon of

love, which are not covered by clothing.

And the most important part is

not what they are saying.

We have to charm him,

deceive, manipulate,

but most importantly,

under all circumstances,

you must not let the bumblebees touch your flowers.

Sorry, I do not understand botany,

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