Russell Madness Page #3

sugar with your tea, Mr. Hunk?

How about two lumps

to the head, please?

Huh?

Hello there. Who are you?

- Uh, Russell.

- Hey, Russ, I'm Dozzo.

What is that? A T-bone steak?

Would you...

Would you like to share it?

You see, Russ, this is my turf.

Any food left out here

is rightfully yours truly.

- Got it, mate?

- I guess so.

I have a condition

called low blood sugar.

I have to eat every few seconds,

or else I'll get "hangry".

Hangry?

You know,

when you get so hungry

it makes you angry.

HangrY-

Why don't you pick

on someone your own size?

- Blimey!

- Step away from that steak!

Or I'll take you to

school like a bus driver.

I don't want any trouble, mate.

Now scram! Beat it!

Vamoose! Cheerio!

You got to learn to

stick up for yourself, kid.

You can't let a bully dog

intimidate you like that.

- Who are you?

- The name's Hunk.

- What's yours, kid?

- I'm Russ. Russell.

How did a nice kid like you end up

in the mean alleys of Portland?

No one wanted me.

I was pound bound, so I escaped.

A spunky runaway like me.

Now eat up, kid.

Speaking of food, it's banana time.

I got to split.

Arrivederci.

Uh, thanks, Mr. Hunk!

We are back today!

Twenty-five years later,

and nothing has changed.

In our first match we have

seasoned veteran, Vick Vice.

You know, Vick Vice is returning

from a sabbatical at Penn State.

At Penn State.

Mike, I think that's state pen.

How about you, ref?

I'm gonna throw you out.

- No, that's not right.

- Vick Vice in the house.

And it looks like Vick

has been rehabilitated.

Yeah.

Facing Vick Vice is newcomer

Brady Malibu!

Maliboom!

I wonder why they call him

Vick Vice?

Well, now, I think that

answers that question.

Dude! That's gnarly.

No, no... What are you doing?

Get in the ring.

I'm not fighting that dude.

Did you see what he did

to that cinder block?

- I thought you were a wrestler.

- Ah, swimsuit model,

surfer, wrestler,

what's the diff?

What's the diff?

It's actually a big difference.

Fine, fine.

I will double your fee to 200.

Three Bennies and I'll drop in

on the dude, Malibu style.

- Sure, sure.

- Okay.

One Benny, two Benny,

three Benny. Here you go.

What?

All right. Yeah.

Go for it.

Not the board.

Oh!

That was another

in the Vick Vice.

Boo to you!

- Nice move!

- All right!

All right, huh?

Surfs up!

- He's surfing.

- Hang loose, man. Yeah.

Brady Malibu

is hanging ten on Vick Vice.

- That's two!

- All right.

Here is Vick Vice with

- a massive spinning head slam!

- Okay.

Yeah, that's going

to leave a mark.

- Vice grip!

- Oh, here's the Vice grip.

He's in trouble now.

Oh, no.

- Stop the fight!

- No, keep the match going.

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