Ruby Sparks Page #5

but it turns out I was just batshit.

Calvin?

What the f***?

Calvin.

It's not real. It's not real.

It's not real.

Okay, you're dreaming.

You're dreaming.

You're dreaming...

...and you're going to wake up...

...right now.

Oh, sh*t.

Calvin? Are you mad at me?

- Oh.

Oh, God. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. It's not real.

Doctor...

Hi, Dr. Rosenthal. It's Calvin Weir-Fields.

Something has come up...

...and I'd appreciate it if you called me

as soon as possible. Thank you.

Ruby?

Hey.

Um...

I thought you might be hungry,

so I'm making you some eggs.

Mm.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

Nothing, uh...

Are these, by any chance, yours?

Yeah, of course, they are.

Who else would they belong to?

Oh, my God.

Are you seeing someone else?

Oh, no.

No, no, no, I'm not...

I'm not seeing anyone

other than you.

Will you excuse me?

Remember how Dad used

to say I had an overactive imagination?

Are you saying Ruby is in your house?

I started seeing her this morning.

It's like that movie Harvey,

except she's not a giant rabbit.

It's not like she knows

she's imaginary, either.

She thinks we're in the relationship

in my book.

It is freaking me out.

I'm in the middle of a meeting.

But this is an emergency.

I may be losing my mind.

Just give me one sec. Just...

Harry. Harry.

There's no possible way

that Ruby's in your house...

...because she's not a real person.

I know objectively she is not real,

but I'm telling you...

...I can see her, I can smell her.

When she touched me, I could feel it.

She's making eggs in my kitchen.

Actual eggs.

That's great.

Calvin, I am at work.

I'm in the middle of a very important meeting.

I cannot deal with your sh*t right now.

Listen to me.

I want you to leave the house...

...see a friend. A friend

who can't see your imaginary friend.

If this is still an issue tonight,

we'll talk, okay?

Okay. I'll phone a friend.

Sorry about that, I was...

Kobe's having a barbecue this weekend.

You got plans this weekend?

It's Calvin.

Weir-Fields. From high school.

Yeah, the writer.

I sat next to you in Spanish class.

Uh, actually, I gotta go.

Where are you going?

Out.

Where?

To the store.

What for?

To get some stuff.

Can I come?

No.

Why not?

Because.

Please?

No.

Please?

- Point-nine KCRW.

Up next, tickets for KCRW members.

If you haven't won anything from us

in the last 90 days...

I hear they're doing

a zombie film festival at the cemetery.

You wanna go? We could do a shot

every time someone gets bitten.

Okay. Bye.

Bye? Where are you going?

Nowhere.

Caf Figaro. I've got this friend.

It won't take long.

What am I supposed to do?

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