Ross Noble: Fizzy Logic Page #5

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(Man) lt's not, it's Prokofiev!

l love the fact you pronounced it

''Pro-coffee-off'.

(Australian accent) Oi, mate! Pro-coffee off!

Oh, no, that's right -

the bogun, he shouts at me...

(Chuckles)

..out of the Ute, right.

This is brilliant. l've no idea what it means -

oh, and l haven't forgotten about

the most dangerous thing about riding

around Australia, either.

That's all in there! l know some of you

are going ''He's forgotten about that.

''He got waylaid with the wolf and all that,

and the (Thud) and the boom! ah!

And the ''l'm not me, it's him,

he's me and l'm...''

- lt's what?

- (Man) The Ute.

- Tell us about the Ute!

- l'll get to the Ute!

Jesus! l was reminding you of

the other things. ''Tell us about the Ute!''

Blimey, that's some sort of...

Are you some kind of young bogun

and you think l'm some kind of cult leader?

''Tell us about the Ute!

''Tell us...please.''

(Applause)

Are you?

Are you actually getting aroused by that?

That to you is the most erotic thing ever.

''Tell me about the Ute!

''Describe its capacity for...

''Describe its capacity

for carrying things on the back.

''Ohh... ls it four-wheel drive

or two-wheel drive?

''Does it have driving lights?

''ls there a slightly sad looking dog

tied to the back of it?

''Tell me about the Ute!''

The, um...

l love that, when you see somebody

driving a Ute and there's a dog in the back

and it doesn't know

when the corners are coming.

Slightly more entertaining

than Dancing With The Stars, l think.

You know? lt's exactly the same thing.

l feel like dressing up a dog in

a little ballroom dancing outfit and then...

And then putting it on as a show.

No, this fella, and he shouts at me,

(Australian accent) ''Oi!''

l went ''What?''

And he went,

''Your mum's your dad!''

What the hell does that mean?

''Your mum's your dad.''

And then he nodded, as if to go ''Yeah.

''Mm-hm. Oh, yeah.

''l speak only in truths.''

He was like some kind of bogun Confucius.

''Tell us.

''Tell us, oh, great wise one.''

''Ah, yeah, your mum's your dad!''

Yeah... Wow.

And so the prophecy hath been told.

The, um... And lo, The Lord did say,

''Your mum is your dad.''

Wise words. That is in the Bible.

Look at you, ''No, it's not.

''That's clearly bollocks.''

Yes. And so is the rest of the Bible,

so there's no difference.

- (Cheering and applause)

- So... Thank you. Yes.

Ohh...

Hello, one rogue religious person going,

''Ah, now...now, come on.''

No. lt's nonsense.

Right, anyway.

Are we all right here? Have l...?

No, if there's one thing

that shits me up the... Oh!

lf there's - cos l'm a very relaxed man.

l'm the most chilled-out bloke

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