Roger Dodger Page #4

-This is like '90s, adorable normal guy.|-I am that.

- That's your problem.|- That's your nightmare.

Hey, |You going to Joyce's tonight?.

What?.

- Didn't you get the E-mail?.|- What E-mail?.

About the party?.

You going?.

Joyce throws a party,|I don't ask questions. I just show up.

She's on a conference call.

Ted, there's someone|in my office.

- Bye, Ted.|- It's okay, Donna, you can--

- Bye, Donna.|- I'll call you back in five minutes.

"Five minutes"?.|This is a five-minute situation?.

Sit down.

I don't wish to sit down.|I wish to stand.

Did you try to get|into my building last night?.

Why am I not invited tonight?.|Everyone will be there except me.

What is that going to look like?.

- Let's reestablish some boundaries.|- Let's not.

I'm your boss.|You work for me.

You write very good copy.

But I have a hundred resumes|on my files for guys just like you.

But do those guys|do that thing that I do?.

The thing that you like?.

I have explained to you that I do not|wish to see you socially any longer.

Find a way to deal with it.

What's that supposed to do?.

Nick?.

Uncle Roger.|How's it going?.

What are you doing here?.

What?. Oh.|I wanted to see where you work.

- Yes. No. What are you doing here?.|- What?.

- You mean here in New York here?.|- Yes.

I had an interview at Columbia,|so Mom said I should lookyou up.

- Sit down.|- Okay.

That's what all the phone calls|were about.

- The phone calls?.|- Yeah. Your mom's been calling me.

- Did you speak to her?.|- We're playing phone tag.

She said you could|show me what you do here.

She did?.

Well, there's not a whole lot|to show you, Nick.

Really?. Like, what do you do all day?.

What do I do all day?.

I sit here and think ofways|to make people feel bad.

- I thought you wrote for commercials.|- I do...

but you can't sell a product|without first making people feel bad.

Why not?.

Because it's a substitution game.

You have to remind them that they're|missing something from their lives.

Everyone's missing something, right?.

- Well, yeah. I guess.|- Trust me.

And when they're feeling|sufficiently incomplete...

you convince them that your product is|the only thing that can fill the void.

So, instead of taking steps|to deal with their lives...

instead ofworking to root out|the real reason for their misery...

they run out and buy|a stupid-looking pair of cargo pants.

- So... is it fun?.|- It can be.

Look, I actually was about|to call it a day.

That's cool.|We can go get something to eat.

- Fine. Let's get out of here.|- Great.

You gave me a scare. I thought you|were having a narcoleptic episode.

- What?. When?.|- Back at the office, you know?.

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