Robin Williams: Live on Broadway Page #2

Synopsis: The fourth HBO stand-up special by Robin Williams.
Director(s): Marty Callner
  Nominated for 5 Primetime Emmys. Another 1 win & 4 nominations.
99 min

Than I want you to get your balls done for me, OK ?

I want you to get those big old basket balls.

So when you do the baywatch thingy, it's like...

Nothing drives a woman crazy like a big old Easter basket on

her bunny.

You go to the doctor...


Payback's a b*tch ! Go for it, girls !

'Cause you went through a hard time. This whole winter was so


Temperatures were like . It was f***ing weird!

The weathermen are going:

"I don't f***ing know what's going on!"

Let's just see what happens.

Flowers were like Anne Heche going: "I'm out, I'm in, I'm


I don't know when to go.

George came back from Japan and went: "I went to the Coyote


- No, it's Kyoto. - That's a very good car.

George, walk away.

They say there's no global warming.

But right now the North Pole is a pool.

It is beyond global warming. At this point is cooking.

At in the middle of the country: "Is it hot enough for


No, I like sweat to be rolling down the crack of my ass like


I like my old man's titties to lactate, my man.

You see people in shorts and you're going: "Please, don't

wear those!"

Please, don't put those on!

If you go to South West Airline:

"You're not fat, you're horizontally challenged"

Big people at South West Airlines have buy two seats.

The problem is that they are not together.

And you have to put your titts in the overhead rack.

People don't mind now. We're working our way through.

All over the country we've got weird things.

In Houston they got Enron field.

We're gonna call it th Amendment for you.

We can't call it: "We're f***ed for you!"

Arthur Anderson put in the chairs that spin both ways.

And now Martha Stuart may become somebody's b*tch.


Say it ain't so!

I like to consider it more like "severed companion".

If you only have one room, and I like to call it my "private


use the light well. You have vertical bars, don't use

horizontal blinds.

Also, think of your ankle bracelet as an accessory.

The first time she has lunch going: "You call this keesh?"

Shut up, b*tch! You're inside now, you're mine!

All over things have been going good. I've been to Memphis,

to Graceland.

I never knew that Ray Charles had a decorating license.

They're some severe...

They're colors there that have never seen daylight.

I've been to Nashville, I've heard people sing songs like:

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Robin Williams

Robin McLaurin Williams was an American stand-up comedian and actor. Starting as a stand-up comedian in San Francisco and Los Angeles in the mid-1970s, he is credited with leading San Francisco's comedy renaissance. more…

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Submitted by acronimous on April 02, 2017

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    "Robin Williams: Live on Broadway" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 May 2024. <>.

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