Robin Hood: Men In Tights Page #4

about Robin of Loxley?

Robin of Loxley?

Robin of Loxley.

Let me see.

Raven's egg.

Blood of a hen.

Little bit more blood, yes.

Eyeballs of a crocodile.

Testicles of a newt.

I guess he's a transsexual now.

Robin of Loxley is handsome and brave.

He seeks to regain his family's honour.

The little sod could be trouble.

- Are you certain?

- Certain?

You want certain, hire a witch.

I'm just your cook.

Here.

Eat this.

It's fabulous.

Looks like a Seder

at Vincent Price's house.

Such an unusual name, Latrine.

How did your family come by it?

We changed it in the ninth century.

You mean you changed it to Latrine?

Yeah, it used to be Shithouse.

It's a good change.

It's a good change.

Now, what about this Robin fellow?

How can I stop him?

Maybe...

...I could devise a magic potion.

One that would make him unable

to perform the slightest task.

But in return...

...you must help me.

What are you, kidding?

Name it. Anything you want.

Put in a good word for me

with the Sheriff of Rottingham.

I've got the hots for him.

I keep a likeness of him

in my boudoir.

Rotty.

Rotty, Rotty, Rotty.

I'm amazed to think that a handsome

blade like the Sheriff of Rottingham...

...would ever want a creature

like you.

Well, if you're going

to puncture my dreams...

...you can forget my promise

to help you!

No, wait!

Wait, wait, wait!

Maybe if we got him drunk.

Very drunk.

You got a shot.

Oh, good.

Dismount.

Wait here.

I'll go make sure it's safe.

I say, would you mind awfully

getting out of the way?

I say, not until you pay the toll.

Toll? What toll?

Well, the toll you pay

for crossing me bridge.

I'm not paying any toll.

This bridge is on my family's land.

Well, it used to be my family's land.

You're Robin of Loxley!

And whom might you be?

They call me Little John.

But don't let my name fool you.

In real life...

...l'm very big.

I'll take your word for it.

Now, let me pass.

Sorry.

But a toll is a toll...

...and a roll is a roll.

And if we don't get no tolls,

then we don't eat no rolls.

I made that up.

It's very fascinating, but I'm

afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.

My pleasure. Will!

Thank you.

Hey, Blinkin.

Did you say, "Abe Lincoln"?

No, I didn't say, "Abe Lincoln."

I said, "Hey, Blinkin."

Hold the reins, man.

Damn.

- Excuse me.

- No, excuse me.

You don't have to do this.

Look...

...this ain't exactly the Mississippi!

I'm on one side, see?

I'm on the other side.

I'm on the east bank.

I'm on the west bank.

It is not that critical.

Not the point.

It's the principal of the thing.

Nice knowing you.

Help me!

I can't swim!

I'm drowning!

Oh, God, I'm drowning!

Help me!

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