R.I.P.D. Page #4

---

You got shot with

a modern bullet.

I would've loved a modern bullet.

Sanitary, at least.

That's exactly how it felt as

it passed through my face.

Sanitary.

The term "partner"

died when I did.

You got it, Roicephus.

"Roicephus. "

Roicephus.

Just call me "Roy. "

I was gonna do that.

Or "Cephus. "

Now, listen up.

This is tactical, rook.

Tactical?

A bag of Indian food?

Yeah. I got a tip on a possible

Deado in this building.

Now, listen and learn.

Deados put off

a bad dead mojo.

Infect everything

with their soul stank.

Infect everything

for the worse.

People and things.

There you go. Broken

sh*t is a dead giveaway.

Ah.

Soul killers.

Hit a Deado in the head with one of

these, and it's got to be the head...

Personally, I find

the face most gratifying.

...he's erased

from the cosmos.

Won't hurt live ones,

will hurt us.

So, you be extra careful

where you point that thing.

I'm pretty solid

on gun safety.

I saw that ankle piece

you're strapping.

Live-world gun don't

do diddly-squat here.

You can keep your eyes off

my ankles, thank you.

Watch me sniff this out.

Even more promising.

It's always the quiet one.

You ready? You pumped?

I need you all here. Get

your snowman on, get frosty.

Alert, icy-hot.

Is this you trying

to sound like a cop?

Because it throws up

a lot of red flags for me.

You gotta learn the lingo,

hombrito.

I'm frosty.

Don't worry about it.

Senior officer

gets to knock, rook.

I've got 15 years

on the force.

Knock off

the "rookie" bullshit.

Oh, you've done this before?

You know what's waiting

for you behind the door?

You can take your 15 years, you

can flush it down the toilet,

because this ain't that.

I knock, you do the cards.

Stanley Nawicki.

We're with

the Department of Health.

Is there a problem?

Well, Mr. Nawicki,

we suspect that

you might be dead.

Is this really

necessary?

No offense, but you

sound kind of crazy.

None taken.

Just a routine test and

we'll be out of your hair.

I am not dead.

I mean, that's...

Check my pulse, go ahead!

Rook, first question.

"t's late

on Ash Wednesday.

"An Asian teenager

in a slammed-outAcura

"offers you a plate

of chicken vindaloo.

"Do you accept?"

How am I supposed

to answer that?

You tell me.

Okay, the answer is no.

What's the problem?

Is it the teenager?

The ash?

Is it the Japanese

performance sedan?

Maybe it's the Indian food.

What?

Maybe you hate Injuns.

No. That's...

Card.

"The teenager is Armenian.

The day is Rosh Hashanah.

"The dish is saag paneer. "

Uhm

I don't want it.

Why not?

Too spicy? Too mushy?

You...

You can't eat during an interview.

I don't want...

You don't what?

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote