Problem Child 2 Page #3

They're invalids.

Oh, boo-hoo-hoo.

Are we all set for that charity ball?

Your tickets are confirmed, but Sergio

says he needs money for a new tux.

More money?

I gave him two grand yesterday.

These damned gigolos.

Every man in Mortville

wants to bleed me dry.

Why can't I just find a good, decent man?

One with integrity, one with compassion,

one with...

Oh, my God! Who's that beefcake?

I'm Ben Healy, we spoke on the phone.

I don't know. I suppose

he's a customer at the bank.

Out of my way, fat boy.

That's why I wanna start my own business.

I wanna create something out of nothing.

I don't just wanna take. I wanna give.

I wanna put something

back into the community.

He's incredible. And he's just my type.

Smith, I want you to find out

everything about this guy.

Because I think I've found myself

hubby number seven!

Hi.

- Hey, Junior!

- Hey, Dad!

So, tell me, how was your first day at school?

Pretty good, they skipped me three grades.

They skipped you?

That's fantastic! I can't believe it!

I told you you'd hit if off here.

So, tell me. Did you make any new friends?

Well, how would you define

the word "friend"?

- Aah!

- Uh!

Ow.

Who are you?

I'm Annie Young. I'm the nurse

here at Mortville Elementary.

The children are very lucky.

- I'm sorry. Let me...

- It's OK.

Oh, God. Excuse me. Here, I'll get...

If you two are done fooling around,

maybe we can go home?

Yeah...

Give me a few minutes, Junior.

I think the swelling's coming back.

I'll put a warm compress on that.

You're such a good little soldier.

"Give me a few minutes, Junior. "

"Give me a few minutes, Junior. "

I've been here for an hour!

Who does that nurse think she is?

Mm...

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Oh, it's you. Buzz off.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

If I were you, I wouldn't do a lot of things.

Like go out in public.

Next time, you'll listen to me.

Oh, my God, he's an Adonis!

Look at these stats!

Six feet tall.

185 pounds.

In-seam, 35 inches.

Sweet Jesus, take me home!

What's this thing?

His son.

"Boy and convicted killer go on joyride"?

"Little league team hospitalised"?

"Union Carbide plant explodes"?

This kid's a nightmare.

Do you want to forget the whole thing?

Smith...

When someone has a bum leg,

you don't shoot the patient.

You just cut off the leg.

That's why you want a franchise. Big Ben is

the fastest-growing sports equipment empire.

Hey, it's Big Ben.

Pick up that phone and call now.

For just $399,

you can get one of my starter kits.

Then you'll be on your way to having it all,

just like me, Big Ben Healy.

What's this?

Look at this. What sort of idiot

would send Grandpa money?

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