Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping Page #6

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So I understand why he, you know,

did the whole Aquaspin thing.

Touring is expensive today. Why you

think I do the A$ap Crunchables?

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

This is Gary Sikes. This

is the label photographer.

Gentlemen. Gentlemen. All right.

There we go. Yeah.

All right. Got the two of you.

Great. Okay.

Can I have a little

separation, please?

Oh wait.

Hang on, Gary.

You're not trying to break

up the dream team, are you?

No, no, no. Just trying

to get the logo.

May I... May I touch you?

Yeah, yeah.

Just slide down just a little bit.

Schooch you down like that.

A little pressure.

There we go.

I still see your shadow a little

bit on him. If you don't mind...

Okay... GARY:
You're Still in it.

You're Still in it.

Conner. Nice.

Yeah, same thing.

GARY:
Nice. Yeah.

(SONG PLAYING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Here you go, Paula.

Thank you.

Hey, how's the Pop Music

Award thing coming?

Good. I've called producers.

I'm waiting to hear back.

Please stay on them because you

know how important it is to him.

PAULA:
I'd love to get

Conner to the point where

people forget

that he's a musician.

Where he's just kind of

everywhere like oxygen or gravity

or clinical depression.

He's just everywhere.

ASHLEY:
Conner!

(LAUGHS)

CONNER:
Hey!

CONNER:
Oh!

(WOMAN SINGING)

Ashley Wednesday, star of the

blockbuster Cube Theorem franchise,

was spotted with

pop rapper Conner4Real,

leaving the exclusive New York

City nightclub... last night.

Okay. Let's go, kids. Time

to go home in your fun car.

Ash and I have been hanging

out for about six months now,

and I've got to say,

she's the total package.

(LAUGHS)

Well, when I was little,

I would spend hours

looking at famous

couples in magazines.

Us Weekly, People,

and everybody's speculating.

"Are they a real couple, or

are they just for publicity?"

And I knew that when I grew up,

I wanted to be one

of those couples.

ALL:
Five, four, three,

two, one!

(SONG PLAYING)

(CROWD APPLAUD, CHEER)

(POWER FLUCTUATING)

(CROWD JEERING AND GASPING)

(ALARM BLARING)

(POWER SHUTTING DOWN)

MALE REPORTER:
Last night,

popstar Conner4Real's

new album CONNquest

was released...

WOMAN:
on all

Aquaspin appliances.

MAN:
Millions of unsuspecting

Americans turned on their toasters...

You can't do that to people.

Yo, Conner4Real, you suck, dude!

Whoo!

MALE REPORTER:
The President

calling the popstar a real dumb.

MAN:
The only reason

he put it in appliances

is 'cause no one was gonna

buy his sh*t album.

(NARRATOR READING)

He released his record

with a dishwashing company?

They did this big launch, and it

was all wireless or something.

I don't know. But it came out

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