Police Academy Page #5

yell at him without interrupting.

Come on, Mahoney, move.

Son, where did you get this gun?

My mom gave it to me.

- Can I borrow it for a little while?

- Sure.

Left, right, left!

You will learn to defend yourselves

without a stick or firearm.

I need a volunteer. Barbara, get out here.

I just ate.

Right where I'm standing.

Right here. Right now.

Come at me with an imaginary knife.

- Do I have to?

- Yes, you do.

I'm not joking. Come on.

Now!

That's how it's done. Who's next?

You have 20 minutes to complete the test.

Try to answer

as many questions as possible.

All right, start.

Here's the pitch.

Swung on and missed!

You know, Mahoney...

I'd like to spend the next month

breaking you into little pieces.

But I won't...

because you're bad.

You're bad for morale, Mahoney.

You look like this sweet little boy

from next door.

But you don't fool me.

You're the devil

and you're rotten to the core.

And you're ruining my chances...

of training some men

who might make pretty good cops.

- I agree, sir. I've been saying that all along.

- You make me sick!

Thank you, sir, I make everybody sick.

We're gonna pick up this telephone

and call your buddy Capt. Reed.

And you're going to help me

talk him out of this terrible mistake.

- Terrific. I'll do my part, sir.

- You're damn right you will.

This is the academy.

I'd like to speak to a Capt. Reed.

Capt. Reed? Yes, sir. How are you, sir?

This is Lt. Harris from the police academy.

I'm so sorry, sir...

Just one moment.

Hi, Capt. Reed, can I get out of here?

No? Okay.

I tried.

Capt. Reed, thank you so much.

Yes, bye.

I don't know what you're trying to do.

I don't know why you're here.

- But you'll never be a cop as long as I live.

- I don't want to be one.

Get your butt off my desk

and get out of here!

I've already told you once.

Nobody screws with me.

Maybe you'll meet the right girl

and all that will change.

Get out of here now!

Come on, Mahoney.

Harris said you had to do 100.

Here's a pair of my old sweat socks.

I wore them all day.

That should help you to get up.

You did it.

You son of a b*tch.

This is a hell of a way

to spend my evenings.

I can't even feel my arms anymore.

Hey, Barbara, come here.

Me? What?

Come on, right here!

- I want you to give me your best shot.

- What?

I want you to hit me.

- Hit you?

- Yeah, come on.

Hit me!

Do it now!

I can't.

How was that? Was that okay?

Yeah, that's good.

This weekend is your first leave

from the academy.

When you go

wherever it is you filthbags go...

do take note of how nice things are

on the outside.

Do give serious consideration

to not coming back.

Four of you have already quit.

Rate this script:2.0 / 2 votes